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My lover says he loves me, I love him too. I never thought that the person who was the center of the Universe for me five years ago would become my lover .... But I realized that this is not excluded in our world.

And he loved me. When they met (quite by accident) they realized that the feelings remained, and that the former passion had not faded at all. But he has a wife, a little daughter, I have a civilian husband. Can you imagine what this barrier is? But since it was already impossible for us to be without each other, we decided to enjoy love and passion in secret, without losing either our family or our soul mates.

I never thought…. Never!

It would seem such a terrible word .... But in my case - this word gives me great hope. Not for the future, but for wonderful moments that I will always appreciate, remember, and keep in my heart.

We agreed to meet, infrequently, in one of the hotels. Infrequently - once every few weeks. We needed such a rarity of meetings so as not to arouse any suspicions.

He loves me!

He said it himself! Oh Vitalik... Didn't expect this to happen. I'm so glad we have each other now. Very soon I plan to get a job with him. Somebody. At least a cleaner. The main thing is that he will be with me for a long time. How long - only fate will decide, not us.

We manage to go to cafes and restaurants, walk, correspond on the Internet and by phone .... He gives me great and chic gifts.

Sometimes, to be honest, I consider myself his wife.

Let everything be as it is now! Any changes, careless actions, can lead to separation and very catastrophic. And I would not want such a final relationship. After all, we recently met (before the meeting we had not seen each other for many years). We haven't really had a chance to be together properly yet.

The hotel has already remembered us. Yes, we are a harmonious couple, although strangers (formally), unfortunately. But relatives are our souls, hearts and bodies. One could only dream of this! How cool when the most cherished dreams come true. It is a pity that it is not known exactly when this will happen.

How hard it is to be the mistress of a man from whom you go crazy!

I can't just forgive him. He named his daughter the way we agreed to name ours. When I found out about this, I felt such an inexplicable - unbearable pain in the depths of my soul that I thought that I would die simply - simply! But I didn’t die, because I want to be with him.

I love Vitalik so much! I am glad that I, by mistake, do not call my civil husband by his name. I regret that they are not “of the same name”, but I certainly am not to blame for this. In many ways, it is not her fault, but she cannot change anything.

Many friends, of course, condemn me

The question of lovers has always been perceived in the main in this way. And I was ready for such a stream of reactions. I didn't tell everyone about Vital. Only those in whom I am sure. After all, they can betray (for various reasons). My civil husband has many admirers among my girlfriends. So I'm "careful" as much as I can.

You know…. And I still dream of taking the place of Vera .... It won't work, but I'm dreaming. How forbidden fruit- what makes him interesting. This is known to everyone without me, I understand. But I write sincerely ..., every word.

I love my married lover

But there was a day when we still wanted to leave. They did not want to, but decided that it would be better that way. We mutually decided. Are you interested in the reason? There were few “permissible” meetings for us. I knew we wanted more. But leaving families is a strict taboo! Personally, I'm not ready for this.

Haven't seen each other for three weeks. Vitaly could not stand it: he called and asked for a meeting. But I asked to change the place of our meetings. I just wanted a change of scenery. In general, the plans are not just a change of scenery. I want to get pregnant from Vitalka. Let the child stay with me, let daddy not know about his existence, but I really want to take myself in this way - a piece of my beloved man.

Looks like I'm going to have to cheat. I'll have to say when I "cure" that the child is from Leshenka. You guessed it, that's my husband's name. And I affectionately called him that now, because my conscience really torments me from planning an act. I will get it! I'll get it! I live for this purpose. She is my air.

Win-win pregnancy

On the Internet, I dug up a little book in which a “win-win” pregnancy was written. I dug it out, read it, wrapped something around my antennae. It remains only to see each other in order to implement everything. I mentally calculated and rehearsed each "step". I got into the role and didn't want to leave it.

Then - a bummer: it turned out that the pose in which such a win-win was hidden was Vitosha's most unloved pose.

And I thought I knew him perfectly…. I guessed a little. Badly miscalculated!But I did not despair: I found an alternative.

The alternative is the second pose. We have already experienced it. Now I was afraid that he would refuse her. Well...the mood may not be when I need it. And I prayed. For the first time in my life, I prayed! And the prayers were heard by heaven!

The night went great. Oh, I forgot to tell you what we say to our half. That we are going to work on a business trip. Oddly enough, but it "rolled". It was the best option as long as it "worked". Back to the night.... I can't please! I started to "twist". I was afraid that this night had passed in vain, without conception. We won't be able to meet in the near future. Do you understand what networks I got into? And it's hard from such an unknown unknown.

But I am warmed by the hope that he loves and loves!

Mutually! This is such happiness... Now I'm waiting for the moment and luck. Must wait for it! I want to shout: "luck, I'm here!".

Why? Does not love?

To the situation where married man there is a mistress, many have already gotten used to it, but our society is not ready to accept the reverse situation. A girl who has a lover should not rely on loyalty and understanding from others. But the cry of the soul breaks out of your chest and you scream love your lover, period. But the girl does not know what to do in such a situation, because she has been married for a long time.

What if it's love?

Let's figure it out together what to do if you love a lover and what the consequences of our decisions may be. Also, what are the benefits modern girl connection on the side.

1) You start dating again, just like when you were younger. Sitting at a boring job or doing household chores, you live your day in anticipation of something unusual and fabulous in the evening. Your life begins to take on new meaning.

New beautiful dresses appear in your wardrobe, which there was nowhere to wear before, and beautiful expensive underwear, which there was no one to show to before. You buy a lot of new things that didn’t make sense to spend money on before;

2) You finally start to like your own reflection in the mirror. Of course, many justify this by the fact that women in love somehow have a special glow in their eyes, but most often it's just the presence of makeup and beautifully styled hair.

Also, everyone says that they lose weight from love. This is easily explained by the fact that you are losing weight due to constant stress and nerves. And also due to the fact that the girl is really afraid to get better, this is not her husband, it is not known how he will react to an extra wrinkle, and the extra candy simply does not fit into his mouth.

Also, girls start going to the gym every other time, it’s not always possible for a lover to meet, and the gym is an ideal solution so that you can regularly leave home in the evenings;

3) You begin to see your friends less, and, accordingly, envy less and fill your head with other people's problems. You are always in a good mood. You start to fight less and break down on trifles. The husband is not overjoyed at the influence of female friendship on you, which is what you need, because what, if not helping an upset girlfriend, can be an excuse to leave home in the middle of the night;

4) You have material signs of attention, for which it was always a pity for money from the family budget. Of course, you justify this by the appearance of money from relatives, or the appearance of generous and grateful clients. But remember that all these nice trinkets, flowers, jewelry and expensive sweets will disappear from your life when you live with your lover, he, too, will eventually begin to consider that this is an unnecessary and unnecessary waste of the family budget;

5) Body. Many after marriage, especially women who have given birth, get better and stop loving their own body. And then ... A man sincerely admires, caresses and kisses your body. Many are so relaxed that they have their first orgasm.

In order not to fall into the mud face, many allow themselves to do in bed what they would never dare with their husband. Also, many allow themselves to embody all their wildest fantasies, which they would not do with their spouse, because you still have to live with this person. “Oh, how he kisses” is a hymn song for all cheating women. Have you ever wondered that this handsome man, whom all the girls dream of within a radius of 100 m, you would never choose to be your husband?

He is pumped up, well-groomed, beautifully and expensively dressed, in your youth you thought that such people think only about themselves. Let's drop the old adage that a handsome husband is someone else's husband. But in your youth you did not choose such guys, you were afraid of their endless betrayals.

Of course, it's nice that you got such an experienced lover, but have you thought about how many beauties managed to visit his bed, and could you not be jealous of such a husband for his past? Of course, for the role of a lover, girls tend to choose a guy who, to the maximum, does not look like a husband, in order to live their possible alternative life in these relationships;

6) Sex - finally, it becomes not a duty, not a marital duty, but it is pleasant, and it is you who are waiting for it. That feeling of impatience, surprise, novelty, but ... soon you will also get tired of it and become commonplace. No matter how we prevaricate, after all, sex for women is not in the first place. Even the heroine of the Russian series "Treason", saying that it's all about sex, was frankly cunning;

7) There is no life in a relationship with a lover. Generally. A man seems so unearthly, and you think that he will also want to eat every day and live in a clean apartment. And how many men do you know who are culinary specialists, or who experience sincere pleasure from cleaning.

Over the years of living with your husband, you through inhuman efforts trained him to wash the dishes and throw out the garbage. And here it will be necessary to start all over again. At first, you will be pleased to do everything yourself, caring for your loved one, but there are only 24 hours in a day, sooner or later you will still need help;

8) You and your husband have already experienced a lot together, for sure, there were problems with work and money, loans, illnesses. How will your lover react to everyday troubles, are you sure that he will not merge at the first failure?

9) You may be annoyed by your husband's friends, but what kind of friends does your lover have? He will definitely introduce you to them, do not hesitate, you need to brag and raise self-esteem;

10) Your lover is hardly an orphan. He also has a mother. And if your husband's mother, in extreme cases, got used to and accepted you as a necessary evil. How will your lover's mother, who was brought up in the USSR, where there was no sex, perceive you, especially if her own husband walked out in his youth?

11) Children. No matter how wonderful your lover is, in order to understand the true state of things, and not the saying that if he loves a woman, then her child, read tearful letters asking for help in any teenage magazine, children who have a stepfather. Nature has made it so that a child from a strange male is annoying. Plus, he wants a joint child - again diapers, sleepless nights and weight gain. Ready?

12) Remember the unspoken rule that if a spouse leaves the family, then he can return, and if a woman, then she leaves forever, way back No;

13) Of course, you can say that, by an evil irony of fate, you met later, but in life everything always happens on time. If we had met earlier, both would have been different people and would have simply passed by.

14) Money. How will you distribute the budget in the new family? If the husband has already come to terms with your not always justified expenses, then you will need to again beat out the right to buy such a desired but unnecessary skirt;

15) Jealousy - the lover knows what you are capable of and will control you.

What to do if you love your lover?

The best option is to dream enough, forget, not tell anyone about the betrayal, remember all the virtues of your husband, try to fall in love with him again, and if it doesn’t work out, think about how you will live alone with children, if you build family relationships with a lover will not work.

Think also about whether this love was for a particular person, or a belated love for yourself and your body that your lover just helped you discover?

Also think about what exactly prompted you to decide to have a lover, maybe you wanted to take revenge on your unfaithful spouse, then it will immediately become clear to you who you really love.

What to do if you fell in love with a mistress and life without her seems insipid, devastated, uninteresting? I live with my wife peacefully, calmly, quite safely. Former passion turned into a habit, duties, work. Gray days, months, years… I recently met a girl and started talking. She, like a fresh wind, is independent, interesting. The romance took off unnoticed. I realized that I love my mistress, but I can’t leave my wife, I overcame a lot with her, became family, I’m afraid to hurt. I live with my wife, but pulls like a magnet to another. Confused.

Lawless Heart…

A common situation in which you need to make a difficult choice. Love triangles are destructive to all parties and tend to become chronic. Acceptance so important decision requires a cold-blooded calculation, no matter how cynical it may sound. Emotions, sentiments, feelings of guilt and so on can only harm, complicate a sober analysis of the situation. Keep in mind that the choice always involves the rejection of one in favor of the other. Calculate what "bonuses", gains and losses should be expected from each of the options. Diagnose your own feelings, aspirations, motives. What keeps you close to your spouse? What is missing in these relations, is it possible to fix, to carry out a “overhaul” of relations or not?

What kind strengths, benefits, the prospect of communication with his mistress?

Calculate what "bonuses", gains and losses should be expected from each of the options. Diagnose your own feelings, aspirations, motives. What keeps you close to your spouse? What is missing in these relations, is it possible to fix, to carry out a “overhaul” of relations or not? What are the strengths, advantages, the prospect of communication with a mistress?

Here, as in the case of an illness, the sooner the patient is examined and promptly taken measures, the easier the consequences. You are responsible for the decision you made and your life, so you should not rely on the advice of friends, acquaintances, strangers, trying to share your heavy burden with them or shift the responsibility to your beloved women.

A new passion attracts a man with mystery, brightness, anticipation of rich prospects for the development of relationships. But with time, " beautiful image» loses its former attractiveness, one has only to change the status of a dream, becoming a permanent partner. Illusions disappear, exposing nature and real character. As you know, passion passes, but a person remains. Real, with its weaknesses, complexes, habits and aspirations. Are you ready to put up with them, seek compromises? Ask yourself: "How much did I fall in love with my mistress?"

Saying "I love" are we not victims of an illusion created by a lack of attention, diversity, interest? Perhaps the relationship on the side is a way to escape from the problems of life with his wife? Mature feeling without self-deception? Having created a new family, will life in it acquire a painful shade, disappointment? Who is she really, beloved or mistress? Wasn't a declaration of love to a mistress an impulsive action, a reaction to an unfavorable emotional background in the family?

How to deal with feelings?

Simulate, calculate the possible scenarios for the development of events. Even the most experienced and intelligent psychologist is not able to deal with your feelings better than you. A deep analysis of the situation will help you understand your own feelings, identify weak points, contradictions, and mistakes made. If this is not done in time, the problems only increase, become more complicated, drive us into a dead end, a depressive state. Without drawing the right conclusions, we duplicate the mistakes in the new family, become disappointed, and consider ourselves complete losers on the love front. Do not think that it is possible to "endure" the situation. Problems need to be solved, not shy away from difficulties. Instead of the destructive thought “how to stop loving”, it is necessary to decide how to restore peace of mind. What would be the best solution for you personally?

Modern people, entering into marriage, sign a marriage contract. It is necessary to approach the creation of a new family from the rational side, and not solely under the influence of feelings, emotions, passion. It was not superfluous to discuss such guarantees at the beginning romantic relationship, the so-called "candy-bouquet" period, no matter how many disagreements, misunderstandings, conflicts could be avoided.

Sometimes the state of falling in love is necessary to overcome the psychological crisis, the desire for self-knowledge, self-esteem. But by solving one personal problem, we create another.

In this case, having reunited and "finalized" the couple's family relations, the need for communication on the side disappears by itself. Sometimes, on the contrary, a new family fills life with bright colors. If the relationship with your wife is more like a habit, good neighborliness, a “good option” for solving household chores, and true love, affection, charm, the desire to create a joint project called “happy family” are gone forever, you should decide on cardinal changes. Remember the words of the classic of Russian literature Sergei Yesenin:

Who loved, he cannot love,
Who is burned, you will not set fire to. — Sergey Yesenin

In any case, the decision made must be firm and final. I turned the page of the book, started from a new page. No throwing, constant comparison, who is better beloved or mistress, doubts.

They say there are no bad decisions. Each person seeks to choose the best option for himself in specific conditions, in a certain time period. To make a decision, it is advisable to take a time out, live separately, understand yourself. Do not make hasty, impulsive actions, jerks, rash actions. You need time and a rational, objective assessment of the situation.