Can an unmarried woman be a godmother. Baptism of a girl: rules and signs, duties. Who can be chosen as godparents to a baby

12.07.2016

The rite of baptism has always been one of the most exciting and mysterious in Russia, so there is nothing surprising in the fact that our ancestors at one time associated this solemn event with various kinds of beliefs. One such superstition that has survived to this day is the assertion that the first girl should not be baptized to an unmarried girl.

The first version of the appearance of this belief sounds quite realistic and reasonable. The fact is that the godmother is the spiritual mentor of the child, who must explain to the child a lot about the spiritual component of our life. It is believed that a very young unmarried person does not have enough life experience to provide the child with proper protection.

But we must also take into account the fact that in our time, some young girls are already independent mature individuals who are able to take care of others and, especially, of their godchildren. And some of the fair sex, having a rich experience of family life behind them, are children even for their household members.

The conclusion is obvious: in our time, everything depends on the person. We must also take into account the fact that earlier in Russia, girls did not have so many options for personal development outside of marriage, so it is likely that the role of godmother was suitable only for those who had already married.

The second version of the appearance of this superstition is no longer so real and does not have any evidence. However, our ancestors were sure that if a young unmarried girl takes on the role of godmother of a little girl, then in the future she will have misfortunes in her personal life, and she will never be able to give birth.

Many people are still confident in the legitimacy of this statement, and, frankly, it is useless to argue with them. Among them are even those who are able to give examples from their own life experience. True, these “cases from life”, as a rule, turn out to be only an invention of the narrator.

Church workers, answering the question whether it is possible for an unmarried girl to baptize a little girl, are of the opinion that such a decision should be made based on their own willingness to take on such responsibility.

The only condition that the church obliges to comply with is that the godfather and godmother should never further bind their lives by marriage. The fact is that after the christening, these people already become relatives. However, this rule concerns mainly the wedding ceremony and also, to some extent, belongs to the field of superstition.

When an unmarried girl is invited to become a godmother, she faces a dilemma: "Baptize a child, or refuse?" The future godmother often asks her relatives: “Can an unmarried girl baptize a girl?” These throwings are associated with fears and superstitions that are not supported.

People believe that it will be difficult for an unmarried girl who has become a godmother to get married in the future. Priests believe that everything is the will of the Lord, and personal life is in no way connected with the sacrament of baptism.

There is also a superstition that a godmother who is not married can give her fate to her goddaughter. They say in the church that each person is unique and cannot exchange their destiny with others.

There is also a myth that a young godmother will take on many of the goddaughter's sins when she enters adulthood. But even this cannot happen, since God perceives each person separately and sees only his sins and good deeds.

Another superstitious fear has to do with the child's parents. Some parents believe that a young and unmarried godmother can unwittingly or intentionally rob their daughter of good luck, youth, or beauty at the time of baptism. In Christianity, witchcraft is denied, so this fear remains at the level of "grandmother's tales."

What are the real reasons for unmarried people not to be godparents?

It would seem that fears are calmed, myths are debunked and you can safely become the godmother of a little girl. But in addition to superstitions, there are real prohibitions when an unmarried woman cannot baptize a child. Let's consider them in more detail:

All of the above are good reasons for refusing the role of a godmother. And the parents themselves should not invite a person who is not suitable for the above reasons to this important role. Now you have learned whether it is possible for an unmarried girl to baptize a girl. What does it really mean to be a godmother?

Godmother is an honorary title and a great responsibility. A real godmother can replace a girl's real mother if something happens to her.

The godmother should actively engage in the spiritual development of the goddaughter. She is obliged to participate in all events important for the girl, to attend her wedding.

The godmother is a spiritual example for the goddaughter. Their close fellowship should enrich the Christian outlook of the child. But worldly participation in the goddaughter's life is not forbidden.

A woman who has become a godmother should earnestly pray for her goddaughter and support her in difficult periods of life. After all, she was a witness to the introduction of the child to the world of Christianity.

Whether to agree to the role of a godmother is a personal matter for every woman. If fears due to signs and superstitions are too strong, you can tell the priest about them in confession. But to refuse relatives because of myths and beliefs is not worth it. It is better to understand your inner readiness for such a significant step. After all, the status of a godmother is for life. And it is impossible to refuse such a role, even if there is a desire.

It is also worth remembering that the fact that the godmother or godmother is being prepared is not welcome. It is better to participate in the sacrament of baptism after your own wedding. But if the desire to become a godmother is sincere and strong, then the church can approve such candidates.

So can an unmarried girl baptize a girl? According to folklore, no. But the church looks at it positively. The main thing is that the future godmother is not too young and fully aware of the importance of this step. And then everything will go fine, and the girl will have the first named child - her goddaughter. And parents will find in her person an assistant who will not be indifferent to the fate of their daughter. After all, the more close and loving people a child has, the better.

Baptism is a sacrament that determines the fate of a person. During the ceremony, godparents (grandparents) are appointed to the baby, who bear a huge responsibility for the virtues of the ward.

Therefore, blood mom and dad should responsibly approach the choice of these people. Choose godparents with the knowledge of who should not be godparents. There are church rules about this.

Godparents are a person's spiritual mentors for life

Who can be chosen as godparents to a baby

According to church canons, adherents of the Orthodox faith who have reached the age of majority can be recipients during the rite of baptism in the church. After all, godparents are the spiritual mentors of a person for life. They have to answer for the godson before God, to guide the child on the righteous path. And also all the sins of the ward fall on the conscience of the godparents until he is 16 years old.

Therefore, mom and dad should choose godparents for their child, based not only on their own considerations. It is necessary to comply with religious regulations, and they say that a child can be baptized:

  • Relatives of the child (aunt, uncle, grandfather, grandmother). Children over 14 are allowed to have a brother or sister baptized.
  • Kumovya (people who have chosen you as a successor for their child). You can baptize each other's children.
  • Godfathers firstborn.
  • A priest who performs a ceremony, or a psalmist (if it was not possible to choose a godfather in an area dominated by non-believers or the person being baptized is in mortal danger).
  • A woman expecting a baby.
  • An unmarried person with no children.

Blood parents should understand that they are choosing not just a participant in a church ceremony, but a person who will truly love their child, who can be a mentor for him in the spiritual sphere throughout his life. Qualities required by the receiver:

  • developed sense of responsibility;
  • faith in God (adherence to the Orthodox religion);
  • conscious love for your child.

People with such qualities can be good godparents - it is their prayers for the godson that the Lord perceives in the first place.

The right choice of a godfather is also important because it is done once in a lifetime. Subsequently, it is not possible to select another receiver.

If one of the godparents stumbles, the godson will have to pray for him and his return to the righteous path.

And yet, the candidate must agree to comply with all the rules of the rite of baptism, which for the recipients are as follows:

  1. Compliance with a three-day fast before baptism, confession and communion during this period.
  2. Putting on the body of the Orthodox cross.
  3. Appropriate appearance (primarily for women). There should be no lipstick on the lips. The head must be covered. The skirt must cover the knees (trousers are excluded).

In addition, the recipients need to meaningfully perceive the prayers "Our Father" and "The Symbol of Faith", which are read during the ceremony.

It is believed that a baby can borrow a godmother's share, therefore, a woman who is happily married should be chosen for the role of a godmother.

Who cannot become a godfather

There is an unspoken prohibition for an unmarried young lady to be the godmother of a girl if the woman is to take part in the rite of baptism for the first time. Folk omens claim that the goddaughter will take away potential family happiness from the godmother. In addition, the godmother, in general, will not marry.

That is, the girl should be the first to baptize the boy, which, according to signs, will bring her happiness in marriage in the future.

There are other explanations why an unmarried girl should not be baptized the first girl. It is believed that a baby can borrow a godmother's share, therefore, a woman who is happily married should be chosen for the role of a godmother.

A superstition forbidding an unmarried woman to baptize her first girl.

According to English belief, if an unmarried lady christens the first girl and then takes part in the rite of christening a boy, then the boy will have no facial hair (neither beard nor mustache). And this is considered satanic machinations, and such a person himself falls into the servants of Satan.

List of persons who do not have the right to baptize a child:

  • blood mother and father of the crumbs;
  • an unbaptized person or an atheist;
  • an individual who denies any truth of Orthodox teaching;
  • a person who perceives the sacrament of baptism as an opportunity to conduct a magical rite,
  • pursuing pagan goals;
  • an individual who does not wish to be a parent for this child;
  • adoptive parents;
  • an individual belonging to other faiths;
  • children under 14;
  • monks and clergy;
  • immoral individuals;
  • mentally handicapped persons;
  • woman during menstruation.

Choosing godparents, the child's parents are perplexed why it is impossible to take a married couple as godparents to the baby. Often it is the family of acquaintances that is most suitable for playing the role of mentors. Especially if there is harmony, love and mutual understanding in a married couple. And in spirit and religion, friends are close to the parents of the baby.

But the church forbids spouses to be godparents for one child. The reason for the ban is the spiritual connection that arises between the recipients during the rite of baptism. It becomes the beginning of spiritual intimacy, which rises above any other ties, including marriage. If a husband and wife become godparents, this will make it impossible for them to marry in the future.

The prohibition also applies to a couple who are in a civil marriage or on the eve of marriage.

Moreover, individuals living together outside of marriage cannot be godparents (such relationships are considered fornication). But in the modern world, these prohibitions are rarely paid attention to, only people who are married in the church are taken into account - they are not chosen as godparents.

Can a husband and wife be godparents to a child

The desire to take a married couple as godparents appears when the parents have few friends and acquaintances, or they do not refuse to take on such responsibility, or friends are far from a righteous lifestyle. In this case, you need to remember that according to church canons, you can choose one godfather, who will be of the same sex as the child.

Spouses cannot be godparents of one child. But you can baptize different children in the same family. If you really want to intermarry in pairs, the husband can baptize the boy, and the wife can baptize the girl.

If parents have individual questions regarding the reasons for the ban, to be godparents to the husband and wife, you need to contact the priest during the preparation for the ritual. Sometimes the question of the choice of a married couple by the godparents is resolved positively (in the presence of exceptional circumstances).

"Save me, God!". Thank you for visiting our site, before you start studying the information, please subscribe to our Orthodox community on Instagram Lord, Save and Save † - https://www.instagram.com/spasi.gospodi/. The community has over 60,000 subscribers.

There are many of us, like-minded people, and we are growing rapidly, posting prayers, sayings of saints, prayer requests, posting useful information about holidays and Orthodox events in a timely manner... Subscribe. Guardian Angel for you!

Baptism is one of the main sacraments in a person's life. There are cases when this rite occurs not only in infancy, but also at a more conscious age. At what age to baptize is only the decision of the parents.

It is customary to perform this ritual on the 40th day after the birth of the child. This is due to the postpartum period and the fact that at this time the forces of a woman should be entirely directed to the baby. A woman cannot visit the temple without a certain prayer, which the priest must read over her. Only after that she can come to the temple.

It is believed that small children behave more calmly at baptism. Older children may be scared. The main thing in this process is the correctness and awareness in the choice of godparents. This process must be approached with all seriousness and responsibility.

Who can be the godparents of a baby?

  • They must be Orthodox Christians
  • Pregnant and unmarried women are allowed to be godparents
  • Must be churched and take the godson or goddaughter to church

Who cannot be godparents?

  • Spouses or bride and groom, since marital relations are prohibited between people who are spiritually related
  • Minors under 14 years of age
  • Unbaptized
  • Mother and father of a child
  • People with psychological problems
  • Monks and nuns
  • People of a different faith
  • immoral people

Having decided on the godparents, it is necessary to remind them of their main tasks after baptism:

  • Prayer
  • Doctrine
  • Preacher

So, when the issue with the date is resolved, the place where the ceremony will take place and the godparents are selected, many pay attention to the signs on the christening. The rite of baptism of a girl is basically not very different from the christening of a boy, but still has some differences.

  1. You don't need to wipe the water of baptism off your face.
  2. It is a good omen when a child cries during a christening.
  3. After the ceremony, the baby will become calmer.
  4. The baptismal dress must be white. It shouldn't be red.
  5. The godmother should give a kryzhma, and the father - a cross.
  6. The baby needs to be baptized in a hat and then worn for another 12 weeks.
  7. If a child screams during baptism, evil spirits come out of him.
  8. For the easy life of the godson, it is customary during the ceremony to put water in a cup on the window.
  9. It is considered a good omen if the christening takes place immediately after the wedding.
  10. If bells ring before christening, it will bring happiness.

Also, during the baptism of the child, a name is chosen that is consonant with the one that was named by the parents. It is believed that it should not be told to anyone, as it protects the child from damage and the evil eye. In the temple, the priest can offer you a choice of names for the baptism of the girl.

According to Orthodox traditions, a newborn is named after a saint whose memory is celebrated on the day the child is born or on the day the name is given. Often it was the eighth day. Basically, the days of remembrance of the saints are written in the old style, and in order to understand which saint, you need to add 13 to the date. It is with this name that you need to address your saint for intercession before the Lord.

Rules for christening a girl

According to the need to approach responsibly.

  • For a girl, the godmother is considered the main recipient.
  • You need to arrive earlier. As soon as the priest says about the beginning of the ceremony, the godfather must bring the girl to the church.
  • Next, the child is anointed with oil, then immersed in the font.
  • After that, they put on baptismal clothes and put on a cross.
  • Then the girl is brought to lean against the icon of the Mother of God.
  • The duties of the godmother at the baptism of a girl are to read the prayers:, "The Symbol of Faith."
  • Also, the clergyman will give the baby into the hands of the godmother after the font.
  • The godmother should have experience with the baby, know how to change her clothes and calm her down if she cries.

It will not be superfluous to come to an interview with a priest before the christening. She should also help the parents of the child in the preparation and conduct of the christening.

Christening girls: rules for the godfather

The basic rule for a godfather is to buy a cross for the ceremony. Also financial assistance in paying for the ceremony. It is generally accepted to buy a silver cross, since gold is considered a sinful metal. The chain can not be bought immediately, but limited to a ribbon. And later choose and buy it.

Christening girls: rules for the godmother

For the godmother, the main thing is the purchase of a kryzhma, a baptismal set. You can also buy as a gift to the goddaughter an icon with the name of the saint, which is worn by the goddaughter. Also, the main rule is the knowledge of the prayers necessary for the ceremony. If you do not know by heart the text of the “Symbol of Faith” prayer, then prepare a piece of paper with the text and take it with you to the temple.

What is needed for the baptism of a child: girls?

Traditionally, for the rite of baptism, you must have: a cross, a kryzhma, a baptismal dress. All these attributes must be purchased by the godparents.

What does the godfather buy for the girl's christening? The godfather must buy a cross and pay the costs of the ceremony in the temple. When choosing a cross, you need to pay attention to the fact that the edges are rounded. Sharp corners can hurt the baby. The metal from which the cross will be made is not important. It can be silver, gold or ordinary metal.

You can buy it both in the church and in the store. It must be remembered that church crosses have already been consecrated, and store ones must be consecrated before the ceremony begins. Godparents can also offer financial assistance in organizing a feast after the sacrament.

What does a godmother buy for a girl's christening? The godmother buys kryzhma. This is a piece of white cloth in which the child is taken after the font. At present, it may be a white towel with a cross. Often the date and the name of the child are embroidered on the roof. The godmother also buys a baptismal set. It is advisable to consult with the mother of the baby when choosing a dress and other items of clothing for the goddaughter.

Christening set for a girl

Basically, this set consists of a beautiful baptismal dress or shirt, lace cap, booties. There may also be a bib, tights or other accessories. The material from which the kit is made should depend on the time of year when the christening ceremony takes place and the age of the child.

It is also considered a good omen if these things are white or light in color and are made by the hands of the godmother. It must be remembered that the kryzhma and the baptismal set must remain in the house and not be transferred to anyone. Kryzhma is not erased a year after baptism. Also, if the child is sick, then he is wrapped in it and he recovers faster.

What do godparents give to a girl for christening?

The choice of a gift should not be hasty. It will be good if it combines practicality and feature. After all, the sacrament of baptism is a special holiday and therefore the gift should also be special. You can buy a chain for a cross, books for a baby, a personalized photo album, a set of bed linen.

If the material condition allows, then you can order a photo or video filming. It will be pleasant for the parents of the goddaughter and the memory will remain for a long time. A cake can be a good gift. It will be a delicious conclusion to the celebration. In addition, you can choose hygiene products for the baby.

A gift can be both “for growth”, and one that the baby will use in the near future. The godmother usually buys the icon for the christening of a girl. This may be an icon with the face of the patron saint. But besides this icon, you can also present such faces as: the Mother of God, the Matrona of Moscow, Nicholas the Wonderworker. It will be especially nice if the godmother embroiders this image with a cross or beads. She will be a good memory for your goddaughter and your contribution to her Christian upbringing.

It must be remembered that this rite is very responsible and serious in the life of a small child. The choice of godparents should be well thought out. Do not chase after the image and the desire to become closer to influential people. It is worth remembering the main task of baptism. In addition, godparents after christening cannot be changed, no matter how he changes. In such situations, you need to pray for him.

It is also important that after the baptism you need to go to the temple and take the child with you. It is also necessary to commune him if possible, pray. And then all your prayers will be answered.

The Lord is always with you!

From this video you can learn how to choose a date for the baptism of a child:

In our culture, there are a huge number of signs that many people unquestioningly follow. Regarding baptism, in particular, there are also many beliefs, so many are interested in why it is impossible to baptize the first. It is worth clarifying that this sign applies only to the female sex, which means that men can safely forget about it. Although the male sex is already less inclined to various kinds of superstitions. The answer to the question why a woman cannot baptize her first girl is the fact that supposedly the goddaughter will deprive her godmother of future happiness in marriage, moreover, most likely, the girl will never marry.

In contrast, there is another belief that, having become the godmother of a boy for the first time, a woman in the future will find her happiness and will definitely start her own family.

There is another sign that explains why it is impossible to baptize the first girl to an unmarried girl. If you believe her, then the baby can take over the fate of the future godmother, which means that a happy and married woman should be chosen for this role.

Superstition or truth?

How true these signs are, only the one who is guided by them can judge, but it is worth noting that in religion, Christianity, there are no prohibitions on such But the refusal to invite parents to become a godmother, firstly, can greatly offend them, and secondly, it was considered a shame at all times.

In addition to what has already been said, there was another interesting English sign explaining why a girl should not be baptized the first girl. In ancient England, it was believed that the baptized first girl would take away all his vegetation from the second boy, depriving him of his beard and mustache. Now such a belief will only cause a smile, but in those days such young people were considered servants of the devil.

As you can see, any sign is relevant only in its time, and most importantly, most often it looks just ridiculous and stupid from the outside. But to believe it or not - each person decides for himself.