Comic children's horoscope. School horoscope. Comic horoscope for Pisces
What will be the baby born in 2017: children's horoscope
In 2017, a wayward representative of the feathered family, the Red Fire Rooster, comes into possession. Some idea of his wards can be drawn from his behavior in nature. However, according to astrologers, most are unaware of all the positive qualities of the Rooster that can manifest themselves at an early age.
For example, astrologers advise parents to be prepared that their baby literally from the cradle will begin active exploration of the environment. Breaking out of the crib and playpen, the young Rooster will begin to explore the world, sticking his nose where he can and cannot. It needs an eye for an eye. The safety of the young researcher is at stake. Every year the baby will more clearly show his character, and sometimes his temper. Many may notice waywardness and capriciousness in him. In fact, this is a manifestation of his "rooster" self-confidence in the form of repeated proof to others, including his parents, that he is right. It is useless to try to argue it, it is more expedient to report the existence of possible other options.
Young Petushki are very diligent and diligent. These qualities will be noticeable from the first attempts of the child to take an independent step. Incredibly stubborn kids, who, as a rule, start walking very early, and try to do it without outside help. With age, the children of the Rooster will show their perseverance more and more clearly, and therefore they can be introduced to sports or creative work, where this quality will achieve a good result. The comic children's horoscope 2017 calls these kids stubborn donkeys, because they overtake even this animal in terms of their obstinacy in achieving the goal.
Rooster children have a good set of virtues that parents should try to develop in them:
- accuracy;
- sociability;
- housekeeping;
- love for creativity;
- the desire for order;
- responsibility;
- aptitude for exact sciences.
Some adults can learn from Rooster children to order, in which toys and books are always in their places. By the way, if it seems to you that this order resembles chaos, then you are mistaken, since everything takes its place according to a certain system.
Astrologers advise from a very young age to play educational board games with little Roosters, solve riddles and puzzles, because the logic of these kids can be envied. For this reason, they prefer a more mature company to their peers.
Schoolchildren Petushki will easily be given physics and mathematics. But only with the emergence of the excitement of a pioneering scientist and the awakening of a sincere interest in these sciences, we can say that they will choose this path for themselves. Rooster children, as a rule, are not very inclined to learn foreign languages, but thanks to their good memory, they easily memorize the necessary vocabulary and rules. Young Roosters often do not know the measure, both in the game and in training. Therefore, parents should monitor their regime, controlling the time of work and rest.
Rooster children do not have a particular craving for the humanities, but at the same time they are creative natures. From a young age, they are attracted to musical instruments and drawing (mostly drawing). It is imperative that the little Cockerel should purchase a constructor and cubes and pay attention to his methods during construction, it is quite possible that engineering inclinations will be noticed. These toddlers from the potty are busy only with what is a source of pleasure and joy for them. Only there is one problem, they quickly forget their hobby, switching to another. If you do not teach them from childhood to bring the work they have started to the end, then they will throw their ideas in the middle throughout their lives. Therefore, noticing the fading of interest, you should warm it up and do this until the job is completed.
Children's horoscope 2017 states that Rooster children are sociable and always willing to meet new people. They can easily find a common language with peers and older children. They also easily come into contact with adults who are interesting to them, as a source of new information. With lightning speed, the children of the Cockerel help to acquire friends with their natural charm. There is little risk that the baby will fall into a bad company or under someone else's negative influence. Another scenario is more likely: he himself will become the organizer of the "gang". These are independent natures with their own opinion, which is almost impossible to destroy. They are leaders, and always, both in a peaceful game and in organizing petty hooligan acts.
With age, the children of Roosters are becoming more and more rebellious and it is not at all easy to become an authority in their eyes. Despite their independence and love of freedom, the children of the Rooster need the help and support of their loved ones, but it should not be obvious. Therefore, the 2017 horoscope advises the parents of little Cockerels to be more attentive to their aspirations and needs and to quietly lend a helping hand in time. Mastery is required from parents, because it is impossible to lead the little Cockerel, it should be gently directed in the right direction, and only in this case it will be possible to avoid the eternal conflict of children and fathers. Your union with the child will become friendly.
Horoscope of children of the year of the Rooster 2017 according to the signs of the zodiac
Naturally, both the year of birth and the month of birth matter. The total combination of oriental signs and signs of the zodiac by months form a certain character, and therefore some Rooster children will become famous diplomats, others will excel in the field of sports, and still others will be successful on the love front.
Aries Rooster
Leaders from birth. Little Aries Roosters show their character from the cradle. Especially in terms of the ability to insist on one's own and in the manifestation of stubbornness. They are distinguished by a sharp mind that helps little Aries Roosters find the right solution in any situation. Moreover, the way out will be found without the use of lies and deceit. Aries children born in the year of the Rooster are characterized by the utmost honesty. They will not play around with their parents and the environment. However, the same absolute frankness is expected in response. Sometimes it seems that they have a lie detector built into them, and this is partly true - the role of the detector is played by intuition. Therefore, bad people are rarely found among their friends. They keep unfaithful or slippery friends at a distance or ignore them altogether. Natural leadership qualities allow Aries to quickly build a good career or succeed in their own business, and they also tend to acquire a large number of dignitaries. Aries Rooster babies tend to find a warm spot for themselves in this life.
Taurus Rooster
Self-confident individuals, for which in the future they will get “on the head” more than once. Periodically, small Taurus Roosters should be removed from the clouds and rather hard lowered to the ground, because you won’t have time to blink an eye, as he will lead the local gang of hooligans. Moreover, from all the accomplished feats by this company, he will be able to get away with it, shifting the responsibility for the disgrace committed to another hooligan. It is quite possible that those who had to answer willy-nilly want to deal with the leader by giving him cuffs. Therefore, the bruise under the eye of the little Taurus Rooster is not necessarily of “random origin”, this is a payment for his intrigue. By the way, the Taurus Roosters will not stop intriguing and even succeed in this area. Yes, with the help of slyness, he will lay out a carpet for himself strewn with rose petals. Only at the end of the path he will have a whole army of enemies. Little Taurus, born in the year of the Red Rooster, are not given to reckon with other people's opinions, so this is the task of parents. If he does not master this science, then he can use his leadership qualities and strong character for not very good purposes. A few good words. These are unusually gentle and caring kids in relation to their native people. God bless the one who plots to offend their relatives or friends, they will not find it a little.
Gemini Rooster
These kids should always be kept in sight. They are overly windy and a little careless, due to which they suffer all the time. These qualities cannot be overcome even by their obligation. The Gemini Rooster children tend to jump from one thing to another and, as a result, do not bring anything to a reasonable end. They are full of energy and they are real enthusiasts who are captivated by a new idea, but not for a long time. It is common for them to be busy with several things at the same time. Children Gemini Roosters can be engaged in several circles. Children's horoscope 2017 believes that it is not worth reprimanding young Gemini Roosters why they cannot stop at a particular hobby: playing tennis, doing karate or drawing. These natures cannot tolerate monotony and routine. Unfortunately, this attitude continues into adulthood. Only now the place of children's hobbies will be taken by work, partners, cars and hobbies, all of which the Gemini Roosters will change like gloves. Keeping these kids in place is not an easy task, they are like a top spinning in all directions. Among the children of the Gemini Roosters, there are often hyperactive babies.
Cancer Rooster
They, like no other sign, are inherent in inconsistency. Children of Cancer Roosters clearly know their desires, but they are often overcome by doubt, due to which it is not possible to take advantage of good opportunities. These kids need to be made to believe in themselves. Nature endowed them with strength. It depends on the parents whether they believe in their strength or not. Otherwise, you will have to work as a “vest” all your life. In fact, Cancer babies born in the year of the Rooster are touchy and tearful. They experience their mistakes with a creak and in seconds they leave for their house, firmly closing the door. Sometimes vindictiveness awakens in them, and even because of a trifle they may not forget the offense for many years. They do not really like changes and a change in their habits, and therefore they can hardly tolerate a change of scenery and frequent moves. Parents are encouraged to engage them in some business that they are imbued with. It is better if it is a constant hobby, lasting several years. For example, visiting an art or music school. It is also a good option to sign up for the sports section. Such guys can reach heights in life, but for this nothing should interfere with them. To disturb their harmonious world, the slightest irritating factor is enough. In such conditions, they are lost.
Leo Rooster
They are born leaders. Noticing this quality, many will believe that the children of Leo Roosters in adulthood should fly up the career ladder in the military sphere. However, "in the ranks" they prefer to see households, and not a company or regiment. These are manipulators from God. Parents do not immediately realize that they have been doing steps to the tune of their child for a long time. The main thing, the children's horoscope 2017 warns, having realized this fact, is not to shout at the child. The power over themselves and attempts to show their strength in relation to their little Lions Roosters do not want to recognize. Training, as a method of education, is not suitable for Lviv Roosters, you should carefully pick up the key to them. These kids are inherently arrogant and from birth they demonstrate their arrogance. True, the Lions of the Roosters show these qualities against the background of real merits and achievements. If there is a reason, they know how to be proud of themselves. They are also incredibly honest and noble children. They gratefully accept outside help and do not forget those who extended a helping hand to them in a difficult situation. Among the Lions of Roosters there may be people capable of accomplishing an Act. All Lions of Roosters are waiting for great discoveries and accomplishments, for these things they were born.
Virgin Rooster
Honest and dedicated guys. Astrologers consider the ideal combination of these two signs - Virgo and Rooster. Thanks to the Rooster, Virgo becomes bolder. In response, she counterbalances his impulsive nature. They know their desires from the cradle, but they do not know doubts, like Cancers. They firmly follow their intended path and there are not many ways to knock them off it. The nature of the Virgin Roosters endowed with perseverance and diligence. If their hobby is connected with the house (done at home), then they can be attributed to homebodies. They take their failures to heart, but when they step back, they begin to analyze the mistakes and make new and new attempts until they achieve the task. These are thrifty children, they cherish toys and gadgets with the same trepidation. But in communicating with peers of the Virgin Roosters, they experience difficulties, so their social life cannot be called diverse. Parents should organize communication "in the sandbox" and more often arrange games at home with their child's friends. In adulthood, Virgo Roosters appear to be economical and thrifty natures, remaining in the black in any situation, which they will definitely brag about. Not all qualities of the symbol of 2017 are leveled by the sign of Virgo.
Libra Rooster
Diplomats to the tips of their nails. Libra Rooster children will find a way to smooth out sharp corners and resolve any conflict situation. But while he is doing this not for the sake of someone. He's just good at it. Over time, Libra Roosters will understand that this is a profitable business for themselves and will begin to use it. These are skillful debaters, they always have a trump card in the form of an iron argument and reliable facts, which makes it difficult to engage in a skirmish with them. The children of Libra Roosters do not tolerate lies from the lips of the interlocutor. They are also annoyed by outright nonsense. Deceivers are often exposed in front of all honest people, and therefore the children of Libra Roosters do not have a very good reputation and they quickly become overgrown with enemies. Not to say that they are worried about this. They lack their social circle. The children of Libra, born in the year of the Rooster, have a close relationship with relatives and friends with whom they have been friends since childhood. Little Libra Roosters in the future can make a good career in law and in another field, where words and theories are necessarily supported by evidence. With personal relationships, they do not develop very smoothly. On the love front, Libra Roosters will have to stumble more than once.
Scorpio Rooster
Extremely energetic nature, characterized by courage. Children of Scorpions Roosters do not climb for a word. Parents should be prepared to hear how a toddler who has just learned to speak will snarl in response to the comments received. You can fight against his temper and aggression with the help of affection and love. If at a young age Scorpions Roosters receive due attention, if enough time is spent with them, with genuine interest in listening to his news, then while studying at school, his behavior will be almost exemplary. Scorpio Rooster children are smart and use their mental abilities perfectly, and therefore they have no problems with academic performance at school. As a rule, thanks to the natural curiosity of Scorpions, Roosters go beyond the boundaries of the school curriculum and study the issue more thoroughly. It happens that in some matters they are superior in knowledge to the teacher. Moreover, they are fond of extra-curricular education not in order to demonstrate their knowledge somewhere, but for their development. They themselves are industrious natures and expect the same effort from others. They are characterized by honesty with which they treat loved ones. Sometimes they show excessive emotionality. This often fails them, they are not able to keep their mouths shut when the best solution was to remain silent. With a sense of tact, they are not very familiar. It is better to start instilling this quality from the cradle, otherwise difficulties will arise later.
Sagittarius Rooster
Lovers to talk. They don't care who listens to them, the main thing is that there is a listener. They have complete order with fantasy, and therefore, in a conversation with them, you can easily hear another incredible story. The catch is that they agree on any listener, and he may turn out to be a bad outsider who is able to take a child with him. Little Sagittarius Roosters should not be left unattended. They are prone to everything new and unusual. It's in their rules to start a business and quit. Children's horoscope 2017 advises parents to teach their children to focus on one object and proceed to the task in turn. Play form for children is the best way to learn. Children Sagittarius Roosters are not inclined to get used to people and a new place. And therefore, in a new environment, they quickly master and acquire new acquaintances. They also gladly accept any changes, whether it is a change of place of residence or training. These are great travel lovers who like to learn new interesting facts. If it is not possible to go on a real journey, then with little Sagittarius Roosters you should visit museums, a circus or a zoo.
Capricorn Rooster
Laid-back children who are characterized by modesty. These qualities help them attract the attention of others and win their love. Capricorn Rooster children are very assiduous and hardworking and they are not used to boasting about their achievements. It is not uncommon for children to spend hours on end busy with creativity. They can show some kind of talent from the cradle, on which they will work until a sweat, and having achieved its development, quietly and peacefully achieve success. Nature endowed them with paradoxical honesty, which they show in relation to all those around them and their parents. Sometimes this has a negative effect on them. It will not be possible to smooth the corners in this quality, as well as speed up the procedure. Their excessive honesty does not harm their relationship, they still enjoy love in any team: workers, friends and guests. At school, they do not cause trouble for parents (we are talking about academic performance), there are many excellent students among Capricorn Roosters. A certain stubbornness and zeal helps them to achieve such heights. They may not understand something, but they will start digging until they get an answer. Having matured, Capricorn Roosters will also get to the bottom of the truth, which will not always end in a positive way.
Aquarius Rooster
Nature endowed them with the quality of a utopian, and the Rooster unwittingly only enhances this quality. The head of little Aquarius Roosters is constantly occupied with thoughts about the ideal world, about tasks and projects, the implementation of which is impossible in reality. Therefore, they are often frustrated. However, they still remain cheerful optimists. They are leaders in mercy and good-heartedness, which their enemies and not-so-good friends can use for their own selfish purposes. Aquarius Roosters have another quality that others will often use. This is the ability to forgive and listen. Therefore, the horoscope children 2017 urges parents not to lose sight of the environment of the child and quickly cut down attempts to involve him in a bad story. They can make sacrifices. If they understand that the goal is noble (Aquarius Petukhov can be convinced of this), then they are ready to lay everything on the sacrificial altar. It is unlikely that you will be able to live in a house without animals, small Aquarius Roosters will bring homeless puppies and kittens. Their natural loving nature in adulthood will provide them with an impressive army of admirers and admirers. Their weapon, battling on the spot - the ability to be an attentive listener and a wide sincere smile.
Pisces Rooster
Dreamers for whom the time spent with a book is more valuable than playing in the yard with other children. Despite this, they quickly make contact with new people and quickly make new friends. Pisces Rooster children are naturally incredibly sensitive. They are excellent listeners who know how to show sincere sympathy and can give good advice. However, with regard to their own affairs, then the children of Pisces Rooster begin to stumble. They are constantly tormented by doubts, they are not sure of the correctness of their decisions. Parents should instill a competitive spirit in such children and help them gain self-confidence. The best solution for this would be a creative school or a sports section, where work competitions are regularly held. These are great dreamers who love to go into their own fantasy world. But going into themselves, they physically remain here. Despite this, it is not so easy to take the Rooster Pisces child by surprise. They are always on the alert, and therefore it is difficult to deceive them. Few manage to lure them into fraud and intrigue. From the cradle Pisces Roosters have developed an amazing ability - almost everyone likes them. Over the years, they hone this art, and skillfully use it for their own selfish purposes.
In any case, pleasant chores await you with the baby. Having familiarized yourself with the nuances of the characters according to the signs of the Zodiac, you can begin to develop a strategy for raising your baby. Parents of Roosters require understanding and flexibility, since these babies do not tolerate lies and control of their person. These are wayward and freedom-loving children.
We offer a comic horoscope for 2018 of the Dog, for all signs of the Zodiac, New Year's, funny, funny and funny horoscopes - laugh at yourself, friends, relatives, work colleagues, colleagues and classmates!
There are different situations in life, but we are interested in funny ones, so we offer to laugh at ourselves and those we know in the comic horoscope of 2018, read and laugh!
Comic horoscope Aries 2018
The rebellious spirit finds use
Aries has no breaks and everywhere,
There will even be reconciliation with enemies,
You are at the top, on your wave.
In career matters - only success, of course,
After all, work without even knowing sleep,
And in his personal life, Aries is impeccable,
they are delighted and delighted!
Comic horoscope Taurus 2018
Taurus keeps moving forward
Knowing no doubts and anger,
At the turn they are waiting for you
They wanted to give a gift to the Taurus.
And in the convolution there will be a lot for Taurus:
All sorts of banknotes (green ones are found),
And happiness to you in a separate chest,
Taurus from all the gifts will not be confused.
Shake the handle and go on
Business, worries, time is still there,
You are great, everything is honest and without falsehood,
Everyone is delighted - from stars to planets!
Comic horoscope Gemini 2018
Every word is precious
Eloquence is now a strong point
Any Gemini, of course,
Your world is very rich, deep.
And goat your reasoning,
Reflections are very good
And the Goat will show you the way to happiness,
Respect to all the twins, and bravo to all!
On the road for happiness, take
A couple of reliable friends
And you watch yourself on the road,
Gorgeous year, look merrier!
Comic horoscope Cancer 2018
If you finished the job, then feel free to walk,
Proverb now for Cancer, you know
The goat prepared Cancer vouchers,
On the sea and in the mountains - not a drop of mockery.
Surrender to idleness and laziness bolder,
The whole year is almost like this, Cancer, live more cheerfully,
Everything will be - success, both in business and personal,
It only takes a long time to count the cash.
But that's probably not too bad.
Good luck to you, Raki, and there is no need to groan.
Comic horoscope Leo 2018
On the horizon, the Lion will see a miracle,
The usual one, like everyone else,
Family, worries, the stars will not lie,
And, in general, Leo will not encounter interference.
And if you have already arranged your life,
And a happy wife is waiting at home,
Or a husband, then the little things are empty,
Lyova's family is simply beautiful.
And your boss has sharply become kinder,
Raised the salary, gave the position higher,
And Leo was stunned with happiness,
Just be careful not to blow the roof off.
Comic horoscope Virgo 2018
The goat will sign all the papers,
What was brought to her for signature,
For the Virgin will write out courage,
Money, a little love.
And so that you do not relax,
The goat will give you a cottage,
To be fond of gardening,
And slept soundly at night.
And the Virgin will be grateful
And to please you
Just smile brightly
And there is no reason to be sad at all.
Comic horoscope Libra 2018
Libra, believe that it will rise
Your lucky star!
And all Libra will find
Good luck in life and business.
Doubts away, Libra, it's not worth it,
Sad and sad to wait
What a good uncle will arrange
For you success and grace.
Everything is in your power: home and business,
to which you have surrendered...
Chest wheel, Libra, and boldly
under the guidance of you
Achieve fame and recognition
She liked you (no kidding)
Great upbringing
And in the year of the Goat everything will be cool!
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Comic horoscope Scorpio 2018
The Scorpions have found their way of truth,
It's complicated, but that's what makes it interesting.
The goat is favorable to you in its year,
And for starters, ten thousand
Of course bucks, handed you
So, for expenses - tea, cognac ...
And studied the case of Scorpios,
I was delighted, I decided - it will be like this:
First you have order in the family
It is necessary to point
Organize your life
And you with happiness along the way.
Well, then at work,
Everything will turn out as it should, Scorpions,
You will not disappear in the year of the Goat.
And get out, perhaps, in the champions.
Comic horoscope Sagittarius 2018
No, just look
What kind of sign is this
Sweet, kind, amazing.
Our Sagittarius account today
Opened in some bank
We will not advertise.
Let's talk about oatmeal
He will forget, because on a platter
Today Sagittarius has caviar
Red, from zucchini,
Pineapples, there is a hazel grouse,
In general, the joys are innumerable.
This Monkey tried,
Gave a chance to Sagittarius in luck,
So that pride does not creep in,
Don't be silly, don't be foolish.
Money is what it is
Today a lot, tomorrow zilch,
In short, Sagittarians dear
Be humble, great
Chance to part with a freebie,
Be simple and possible
They will help you to refrain
From excesses sometimes.
Comic horoscope Capricorn 2018
Flickering light of hope
And Capricorn sits in silence
Sad look, you, as before
Write down all failures.
On a leaf, and burn without anger,
And now on the way
And the meeting took place. Boldly
Our Capricorn says to her:
Tell me the whole truth
How to live, what to do, and in general ...
What should I leave, and what is important,
the answer is simply: no.
I brought you today
So many surprises, Capricorn,
And there will be money, power and strength,
Come on, get it together buddy.
You've been through so much sadness
Perhaps that's enough for you
You are so sweet to me from the signs of all,
That I, without unnecessary diplomacy,
I'll say, from this very day,
You smile and laugh
Just be, I said so!
Go ahead and stop doubting!
Comic horoscope Aquarius 2018
Pleasant thoughts lead Aquarius,
There are many comrades, yes, we are getting rich ...
The goat tried, did everything to
Bad rushed away, try
Yourself in a new business, my friend Aquarius
And your life will become brighter and sweeter.
Dare, get carried away, always smile.
And the year will be beautiful in everything
You will even feel like a king.
Comic horoscope Pisces 2018
The sea laughed, the stars smiled,
Pisces planets are fascinated.
Well, the Fish, in general, started dancing,
After all, Rybka will show everyone the class today!
Such cute charms
In everything you are the first, in everything cuties.
And the Pisces will always extend a helping hand,
And everyone will be supported with a kind smile.
The goat gives you a box for good luck,
And this year the fish will not cry,
Everything is wonderful, excellent and wonderful!
And everything for Pisces is always extremely clear!
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Comic astrological horoscope 2018
Aries- Guns to battle!
Favorite Book: Self-published Journal of Your Wise Thoughts.
Favorite activity: shoot first, ask questions later.
Ideal Job: Sex Therapist
Key phrase: "Are you talking to ME?"
Taurus- What's mine is mine, what's yours is also mine!
Favorite book: The Insatiable Gourmet.
Favorite activity: talking at dinner.
Ideal Job: Judge, often handing down terrible sentences.
Key phrase: "Why are you making me attack you?"
Twins- Gallop across Europe!
Favorite book: How to get anyone to agree with anything.
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Favorite activity: jumping to conclusions.
Ideal Job: Sell Everything and Open All Doors
Key phrase: "Because I want to!"
Cancer- Come into my house!
Favorite book: The Martyr's Manual.
Favorite activity: whimpering.
Ideal Job: Life Counselor
Keyword: "And that's after all I've done for you!"
a lion- Everything will be in my opinion, that is, excellent!
Favorite book: How to quickly master the art of intimidation.
Favorite activity: giving orders.
Ideal job: boss of bosses.
Key expression: “Well, did you jump?”
Virgo- Know-it-alls need love too!
Favorite book: 1001 Steps to Complete and Ultimate Organization.
Favorite activity: Worry
Ideal job: manage the Eiffel Tower, personally checking all the steps of the emergency staircase.
Key phrase: “It won’t work like that!”
Scales- My light, mirror, tell me!
Favorite book: How to Marry a Mona Lisa Painting.
Favorite activity: Smiling unnaturally.
Ideal job: Advocate for anyone
Keyword: "On the other hand..."
Scorpion- The best means of defense is an attack!
Favorite book: How I Got Mercy - A Prosecutor's Confession.
Favorite activity: to calculate your next move.
Ideal job: judge, jury member.
Key expression: “Well, you will dance with me for this!”
Sagittarius- More than you want to know about anything!
Favorite book: How to Become a Philosopher in One Minute.
Favorite activity: to rant in front of anyone who wants to listen.
Ideal job: Senator in charge of pirates.
Key phrase: "Did I really do this?"
Capricorn- My stubbornness cannot be broken!
Favorite book: Ten Secrets to World Domination.
Favorite activity: playing the boss.
Ideal Job: Financial Advisor to a Millionaire.
Key phrase: "You can never be too rich or too poor"
Aquarius- Surprise! Surprise! Long live surprise!
Favorite book: How to Benefit and Have Fun from Sleepy Hedgehogs.
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Favorite hobby: to catch someone's eye.
Ideal Job: Getting the plane in and out of a spin
Key phrase: "Resistance is futile!"
Fish- ..but his thoughts were far away!
Favorite book: A Guide to Interplanetary Communications.
Favorite activity: to raise pirates and save millionaires
Ideal Job: Professional Weeper
Key phrase: "I'm so embarrassed!"
Zodiac signs - screw in a light bulb
How many Aries does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Alone, but better stay away from him.
How many Tauruses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- One, or rather one - but only when she is ready and in a good mood
How many Gemini does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Two
How many Cancers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Alone, but not before consulting a therapist
How many lions does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Alone, but accompanied by a choir who will sing "Hallelujah" to him
How many virgins does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- At least four. One to unscrew the old light bulb, the second to check the wiring, the third to screw in the new one and the fourth to clean up the trash.
How many weights does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Most likely - two: one to do it, and the other - not to do it.
How many Scorpios does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- No one. They are good in the dark too.
How many Sagittarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- One, and eleven more signs to spin around him.
How many Capricorns does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- One - but only on condition that it is his idea.
How many Aquarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- One, and he will do it with the latest technology.
How many Pisces does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- What, there is no light anymore?
Everyone knows the past, but looking into the future is fantastic. Even 5 centuries before the advent of Christ, there were the beginnings of astrology. The society did not have scientific knowledge, so it connected fate with the Sun, date of birth and stars. Even today, astrology is relevant, there are entire institutes and other institutions that are seriously involved in the constellations.
Pros and cons
Some people passionately believe in horoscopes, re-read publications on astrology every day. Others are indifferent to predictions. There is no consensus whether astrology is true or false. Arguments in favor of the theory:
- A lot comes true.
- People are grouped according to signs and traits.
- It is part of the culture of the society.
- Astrology creates jobs, provides psychological assistance.
Be carefull:
- Fraudsters often hide under the guise of astrologers.
- Not everything comes true.
- If you delete the names of the signs, then it will be impossible to find yourself by description.
- If you believe in God, then astrology is a sin!
- There is no scientific justification.
- The world is ruled by chance, the theory of probability has proved its worth.
So if you're buying a horoscope magazine, remember: You're investing in someone else's business!
Without boredom
It's boring to live if you don't break the rules, if you don't entertain yourself with kind nonsense about the signs of the zodiac. The horoscope is able to cheer you up, set the rhythm of the day, cheer up the guests at the New Year's party. If it is difficult to decide on the choice of a life partner, then the compatibility of signs sometimes determines the scales. Zodiac, Taurus, Aquarius - these names have entered everyday life. These words are called shops and cinemas, firms and salons. Astrology is always in demand on a big holiday, on a birthday, before the start of the New Year. Even Darwinists, skeptics, and physics professors want to know what awaits them in the coming year: a promotion, a change in car, or a busty mistress. There are personal astrologers in large companies and the first persons of the state, they are often invited to radio or television.
Highlight of the evening
Combining two arts into one is a great idea. Any party can be decorated if you compose a comic horoscope in verse. After the third toast, people will want creativity, such an unpretentious number will amuse everyone and cheer up even those who are on the verge of being fired. It is not necessary to accurately compare the rhyme and the description of the sign, which may differ in the most strict horoscopes. More humor and fantasy. If the muse left and did not promise to return, then use this option:
Aries honest, Aries is quick-tempered, even sometimes picky,
He leads everyone, we love him with the crowd!
Twins impatient, and obstinate in their mind,
They love jokes, they love laughter - they are pursued by success!
Our Taurus always calm, and he is worthy of stubbornness,
Loyalty appreciates this sign, he will not betray for a nickel!
moonlit night Cancer kicks, nobly rejoices so,
We will entrust all the secrets, we send only the best greetings!
Proud a lion- a reliable friend, for boys and girlfriends,
Strong, bright, noble, he put on a folk costume!
Glorious kindness Scales often look at the clock,
Our restless sign is to give them vodka just like that!
Virgin eternally blameless, frugal - that's for sure,
Sincere in all worries - they rest on Saturdays!
Scorpion does not tolerate falsehood, they want to know what will happen next,
Testing is not a sin - it is the right to success!
Cheerful and truthful Sagittarius, often wants to marry,
He is mobile, restless, worthy of a tour to the sea!
Aquarius original, though banal at the table,
Soft, modest diplomat - you can't hear a mate from him!
Rugged symbol Capricorn, he will call the goat in the horn,
Don't be sad, be merry - you are in the company of friends!
Fish extremely indifferent if you are tactless to them,
Intuition from birth, love and mood!
You can always send a joke horoscope to a friend by email: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqiJ-Xdhur0
For the epigraph:
The most honest horoscope is a kaleidoscope for the soul, it will amuse friends, all friends, guests!
So the first bell rang, the students sat down at their desks after the summer holidays, and the teachers rustled magazines.
What is in store for the upcoming school year? What grades to expect from all zodiac signs? Will tell about it astrologer Alena Zemelina.
September, in terms of astrology, is the best month to start studying. From September 1 to September 22, the Sun passes the sign of Virgo, this is a time of learning, memory development, logical thinking and the acquisition of new knowledge.
Of course, there is no such sign under which only geniuses or only potential losers would be born, but perseverance, the ability to develop one's talents, the ability to assimilate and acquire knowledge are largely determined by the character traits that the horoscope will tell about.
Aries
Aries at school is just as restless as in everyday life. His interests can be very different: today he is interested in biology, and tomorrow he is already “clicking” equations. But sooner or later, Aries will choose a subject that will really captivate him.
Aries learn easily. These are resourceful and brave children. They easily answer the teacher's questions, surprising him with their ingenuity. But this applies to those items that Aries likes. For a son or daughter to study well, maintain interest in subjects, tell more than a child can learn at school.
Taurus
The Taurus student asks the most questions. And not because it is difficult for them to acquire knowledge, but to once again make sure that he understood everything correctly.
Taurus sometimes find it difficult to express their thoughts. This circumstance may affect Taurus may know the lesson “perfectly well”, but the teacher will not understand this, the Taurus student will not be able to convey his knowledge to him. Help your child learn to express his thoughts correctly, let him retell how he spent the day, what he did - correct, instruct, advise. Be sure to stick to the regimen from the very first days, teach your child to fill out a diary and do homework in a timely manner.
Twins
Gemini meteor kids love to learn, especially languages. It seems that they manage to do everything in the world: do homework, go to additional classes, and do their favorite hobby.
But good marks for Gemini can alternate with. Why? Because Gemini, in pursuit of everything new, can very quickly forget the old. Their knowledge is not very deep, and often teachers complain about the superficial study of their subject.
Therefore, try with your student to master new horizons of knowledge as fully as possible and do everything so that he remembers the information.
Cancers are essentially philosophers. They like to rant, so the humanities are easier for them than the exact ones.
Crayfish choose, as a rule, one favorite subject, but study it thoroughly. Often such a subject becomes history or literature. At the lessons of literature, you can talk, reason, argue. And history attracts Cancers with the past, in which they like to delve into.
Guide your student, talk about the interesting aspects of other subjects, but in mathematics, it is likely that you will have to hire a tutor.
Lions love school, especially they like to go to the blackboard, because then all the attention of the class is riveted to him. And it does not matter if he has not learned the lesson, Leo will try to get out.
Since Lions love to be the first in everything, they also need to do their homework in a team - then they will definitely want to learn everything first and show off their knowledge. But the lessons "alone" do not like the Lions at all. Such activities completely discourage him.
Lions at school will not only sit at their desks, they will become active participants in amateur performances. It is the stage that will allow them to fulfill themselves and become the favorites of teachers.
Virgo
These are not students - these are "walking encyclopedias". Parents will be proud of them, teachers will not get enough of it, and the Virgos themselves will fully enjoy the process of acquiring new knowledge.
It is at Dev that the whole class writes off homework, they will not come to the lesson without preparing properly.
Virgos are ready to learn all their lives. In addition to school, they also manage to attend a number of extracurricular activities and. But do not put pressure on your child, he is quite capable of choosing his own path in life.
Scales
Libra learn easily, they generally try to go happily ever after in life. And they often succeed. But reading textbooks for them becomes a real test. Scales are much easier to learn material "by ear". That is why we must try so that they do not miss classes at school, listen to the teacher, and discuss new knowledge at home.
Libras know how to defend their point of view. They love history, law, literature, exact sciences - not their forte.
They are good storytellers and may become teachers themselves in the future.
Scorpion
They are very intelligent and responsible students. Their tenacious mind is able to surprise teachers. They always remember what happened a month ago and perfectly use the basic knowledge to acquire new ones.
Scorpios have an analytical mind, mathematics and other exact sciences are easy for them.
The main thing when choosing a favorite subject for Scorpio will be his attitude towards the teacher. If Scorpio does not respect the teacher or doubts his competence, the child may stop doing homework in this subject altogether.
According to the Eastern calendar, astrologers and other great soothsayers, 2018 will be the year of the Yellow Dog. The comic horoscope for 2018 will tell you what to expect from this animal.
A dog is a kind and devoted creature surrounded by a person, so the year under its leadership for the signs of the zodiac will certainly pass without problems. She is ready to guard the peace of her friend and owner all day and night, so you can relax and entrust the patron of the year with solving difficulties. She will also appreciate hardworking representatives of the zodiac circle, because not a single animal wants to give presents to lazy people.
Going with a smile through life is a wonderful quality that representatives of all signs must cultivate in themselves in order to succeed in 2018. The dog will patronize those who are full of energy, cheerful and cheerful, so in order not to fall out of favor with the benefactor of the year, be less upset because of minor adversities. To enlist the support of this friendly animal, astrologers, who have been working day and night on compiling a comic horoscope for 2018, are advised to put on bright yellow robes - they will definitely attract the attention of the patron to your person.
Over the previous year, the poor lambs were rather tired, because they had to work, getting out of their last strength. However, the Dog believes that it is time for you to stop stubbornly following millions, and remember about other areas of life, so you should not go headlong into work. Work is good, and rest is even better.
To please the star patron, who knows like no other about what true devotion and love is, pay attention to those who tolerated your antics the entire previous year. Give at least a little warmth to your loved ones, forgetting for a while about what a miser you are. And for this, the Dog will help you with work and bring you closer to the dream of the cherished millions.
Next year, Aries will suddenly feel like the most irresistible in the universe, so they will be in the spotlight of the crowd of fans. But remember that caution does not hurt, so do not dive into the pool with your head, because there is a risk that an unfamiliar body of water will be too deep and then no Dog will help you swim ashore.
The indefatigability of Taurus will be appreciated
No less stubborn than Aries, Taurus is waiting for a breathtaking year that will turn their heads. Your efforts will finally be appreciated, so hide the horns so as not to scare the Dog with them. True, in order to have time to collect the cream that the patroness of the year has prepared for you, you will have to forget about your slowness - the Dog likes mobile and decisive people.
The only thing that threatens you in 2018 is fatigue from intrusive words of praise, a constant lack of criticism, and constantly coming true desires. This year you will be so lucky that you can move mountains.
In addition to fame and recognition at work, money bags and good luck in everything, the stars have prepared for you eternal mutual love, if, of course, you have not had time to meet her yet. Family Taurus can be calm in this regard: calmness and mutual understanding will reign at home.
Gemini can't hurt with determination
Two-faced Gemini in 2018 will suddenly find the strength in themselves and the desire to change their own life for the better from nowhere. They should start by getting rid of unnecessary things in the house and from the excess rubbish that has accumulated in their heads. A wagon and a small cart of new possibilities will appear.
But if you think for a long time about everything that fate gives, you can get into the soup, like the well-known turkey. Therefore, in order for Gemini to become a really successful year in 2018, you need to learn to think less and make decisions faster. Especially when there are two heads, as in the case of Gemini, there will be no problems with this.
The dog will show favor to those who sometimes neglect the rules, constantly moving forward, while remaining faithful to their loved ones, so the Gemini will be at the pinnacle of bliss for almost the entire year. And although representatives of this sign have hardly heard of romance, and they don’t know how to get acquainted with the opposite sex, they are also lucky in their personal lives. True, the Dog does not like fleeting novels, so if you do not want to be in the registry office, then there is nothing to start.
Comic predictions for 2018 for Cancers or a guide on how to overcome suspiciousness
Cancers can be called the most pessimistic and mysterious among all representatives of the zodiac circle. Sometimes they are so mysterious that they cannot even understand themselves. Their favorite pastime is to hide in their hole, holding tea and cookies in their claws, and get upset about what might happen if they even do something.
The dog will provide Cancers with an exceptional opportunity to radically change their own habits in order to turn into a decisive and confident person in their actions. To make friends with the patroness of the year, Cancers will have to work on themselves 25 hours a day and learn to solve all the minor difficulties encountered on the way, and not back away.
For Cancers who have shown perseverance, the Dog has prepared pleasant changes in his personal life. If you try, in 2018 you can find a partner who shares all your interests. Then you will not have to drink tea sitting in a mink alone.
Proud Lions, keep it simple!
Lviv in 2018 will suddenly fall hitherto unknown glory and universal adoration. However, they will like this attitude towards themselves, because the Lions have long been accustomed to the constant attention of fans. Fortunately, the patroness of the year will help the narcissistic Lions in every possible way, opening up thousands of new opportunities and kilometers of unexplored horizons for them.
In a relationship, the Lions will be very comfortable, because attention will be directed to their luxurious mane. True, loved ones may not understand your royal habits, so take off your crown upon returning home - you should still forget about pride and royal manners, because the Dog does not like selfish people.
Lions who want to have a relationship can leave the crown, because the search for the second half is best done fully armed. Be sure: your irresistibility, pride and impregnability will conquer someone, and then it remains to grab the prey in its claws.
Dedicated to the eternally unhappy Virgins
Virgos who constantly consider themselves the most miserable in the world should stop pouring out their souls to everyone they encounter. Nobody likes to listen to all this nonsense, and a Dog with a cheerful disposition may not understand you at all and start to bypass you.
This zodiac sign should start working on their well-being right from January, since this month will determine the course of the entire 2018. If you work hard in January, then throughout the year you will be accompanied by happiness, luck, fun and material well-being.
In a relationship, Devs will find peace and quiet if they manage to cope with the main vice - talkativeness. Lonely representatives of this sign should expect a hurricane of activity from fans who will attack with their attention. In 2018, you have every chance to meet your soul mate.
Scales, weigh everything
If Libra has made the final decision, then it is already difficult to stop them. But, faced with a difficult choice, they will think to the last, infuriating everyone around them, including themselves. However, if you decide that in 2018 you should forget about this quality of yours, astrologers do not advise you to be too impulsive, otherwise you can slide to the bottom of the deepest abyss.
2018 could be a difficult year for Libras if they lash out. Before you say nasty things to your boss, colleagues, friends or loved ones, think it over carefully. Courage and energy, if you have them, it is better to direct them to an extremely peaceful direction - to fight with competitors or to conquer new heights in your favorite business. To make the year a success, astrologers advise Libra to plan out efforts for the next 12 months, and then you will be sure of the deliberation of decisions.
In the year of the Dog, Libra can be hard on people, but do not despair because of this. You just need to learn to avoid flattery, which can be waiting at every corner. To get only pleasure from communicating with people, you should not communicate with them to the detriment of yourself. Even though you like to listen a lot and like to talk just as much, now is the time to think about whether you need it.
Scorpio, down with narcissism!
Incredible luck, relentless profits and constant profitable offers - in 2018, Scorpios can expect all this if they stop stinging everyone in a row. In this case, representatives of this sign will be able to build a career and find a hobby to their liking.
In Scorpions, energy pours over the edge, more than enough. Next year, it will come in handy for them, and perhaps, in some cases, they will even have to remember that Scorpions have a poisonous sting and use it. Of course, the path to the heights of your career is thorny and difficult, but remember that at the end of it a treasure chest awaits you. Friends will help to facilitate all your efforts, therefore, when climbing the stairs, push only competitors with your elbows, otherwise the rapid run up can have a deplorable effect on your friendships.
If at home, showing off your successes at work, you do not show sensitivity, then the Dog will not help save the relationship. It is also not worth taking too sharp and active actions. But for Scorpions, who can at least occasionally be not so narcissistic, the patroness of the year will help find the perfect balance in all areas of life.
For every Sagittarius a romantic couple
Sagittarius in 2018 will definitely want to receive an award, even if it is a prize in the non-existent nomination "The best adviser of the year." They will give advice to anyone who asks them, and to everyone who does not need them - even public transport drivers will have to listen to instructions from representatives of this sign. However, instead of trying to become a guru for everyone and everything, it is better to calm down in time and do the right things. No one doubts the value of your advice, but it is better to save priceless wisdom for solving your own problems.
Crisp bills will not leave your wallet, so if you decide to change jobs, you can safely do it without looking back. The dog will be generous towards you, no matter what position you work in.
In a Sagittarius relationship, everything will be just fine. January will pass for you in constant fun, and the only thing that can upset you is fatigue from constant parties with sleepless nights. During these festivities, you can meet your love, and one who will listen with pleasure to all your advice, considering them the best romantic gesture. It will not be difficult for you to find a mate for yourself, because you are able to win the hearts of the opposite sex with just one look.
Capricorns, come down to Earth!
Capricorns are all about ambition. They constantly consider only their own point of view to be correct, not allowing others to be right, so they are ready to give advice without a break for lunch. But in 2018, they should moderate their own agility and start to really act.
Perhaps their horns will come in handy for Capricorns, because, only having rested them against obstacles, they will be able to conquer the peak, where they can sit quietly, enjoying the benefits they have earned. True, it is quite possible that this zodiac sign will be somewhat disappointed, having achieved its goals. However, you are unlikely to be bored and yearn.
In 2018, Cupid has prepared his arrows for every lonely Capricorn, so you will not be able to avoid love experiences. Some Capricorns will be able to find love for centuries, while others will be able to simply gain invaluable experience. No matter how your relationship with the opposite sex develops, something grandiose and enchanting awaits you anyway.
Comic forecast for 2018: do not pour water, Aquarius!
For Aquarians, 2018 will be a year of continuous creativity, even if their profession does not require a creative approach. They will continue to gush with brilliant ideas to improve life and generate options for saving the world. Moreover, it is practically impossible to calm down Aquarius, in whose head brilliant and necessary ideas for all mankind will come one after another. And no one will dare to do this, because everyone will be busy, envying the vigorous mental activity of Aquarius.
However, do not get carried away, otherwise the resulting waterfall will begin to demolish everything that you have created throughout your life in its path. But if you can direct it in a peaceful direction, it will be possible to make great money on this.
In a relationship with Aquarius, the Dog has prepared many pleasant surprises. Lonely representatives of this sign will meet true love who will be ready to listen to all ideas, and no problems will bother family lovers of pouring water, because your loved ones will appreciate the creative efforts at work. Astrologers advise you not to invent difficulties for yourself, being jealous of your chosen ones for everyone who meets you on the way, because in fact no one weaves intrigues against you.
It's time for the fish to leave the aquarium
Fish in 2018 will want to turn into inveterate homebodies, because in their underwater world they will be so exciting and interesting that even dangerous predators will not be able to force them to leave their chosen place. But in fact, it's time for you to leave the cozy aquarium, because it is quite possible that other fish also deserve your attention, and there are so many colorful algae and beautiful coral reefs around. So feel free to move forward.
Astrologers advise you to get rid of the main fish habit - silence. Give free rein to words so that eloquence is appreciated, and then you can succeed, and do not let the unknown scare you. Coming out of the shadows and showing courage, you will find a chest of jewels, forgotten by some pirate in the depths of the sea.
For those who have not yet managed to find a couple, the Dog will help to establish a personal life. Thanks to the help of this friendly animal, even the most ordinary-looking fish will be able to find mutual love.
Eastern horoscope for 2018
Other horoscopes for 2018
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