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This sacred rite blesses the spouses for a long and happy life. family union and the birth of children. AT modern world a huge number of couples decide on this rather serious step. From our material you will learn about what are the rules of the wedding in the Orthodox Church, what must be observed before and during such a beautiful and touching ceremony.

The meaning of the sacred rite

Orthodox Christians believe that it is the wedding marriage that is the only real one. After all, it is the blessing of God that can help lovers live a long and happy married life in love and fidelity.

People believe that their union will be concluded not only on earth, but also in heaven, therefore, after death in the Kingdom of Heaven, they will also remain together. During such a sacred ritual, the family is united by sacred bonds, giving each other vows of eternal love. After the ceremony, the spouses are protected by the Almighty.

Since ancient times, only married couples have been recognized in Russia. Now everything is a little different, the Sacrament takes place after the official painting in the registry office. So without proper evidence, you are unlikely to get married.

But there are exceptions to this rule, it all depends on your desire, sincerity of feelings and on the priest, since it is he who makes the final decision in this matter.

For whom the rite is forbidden

One of the main basics to know is, of course, who will be denied the procedure. After all, there are several restrictions that prevent such a marriage. The priest will not be able to conduct the ceremony if:

• You are blood or spiritual relatives;
• one of you has changed gender;
• the bride and groom are under 18 years old;
• a woman is over 60, and a man is over 70;

  In many cases, the church still blesses the older generation, especially if they have been officially married for a long time.

• one or both of the couple is registered with other people;
• took a vow of celibacy;
• unbaptized;
• incompetent;
• Are you an atheist or belong to a different faith?

  Sometimes a clergyman goes forward if one of the spouses is a Protestant or Catholic, but on the condition that their child will be an adherent of Orthodoxy.

• the husband or wife had three divorces and, moreover, the same number of marriage unions;
• not registered with the registry office.

For the rest, the doors of the temple are open and nothing will prevent them from formalizing their relationship before God. Many are interested can you get married while pregnant, any clergyman will answer this, that it is even necessary. Indeed, according to Christian concepts, a child should be born exclusively in a spiritual marriage.

How to choose a date

Most often, official registration does not coincide with the date of the sacred ceremony. There are a number of reasons for this, firstly, most lovers prefer to test their relationship for years, and only later fix it before God. Secondly, the days when you can get married rarely coincide with the work of the registry office. For example, a solemn painting almost always takes place on Saturday, but the Sacrament is prohibited on this day. Also, according to Orthodox rules, do not spend on Tuesdays and Thursdays, during the weeks of Easter and Shrovetide, patronal and church festivities, during large fasts, Christmas time and at night.

But auspicious dates, according to the clergy themselves is:

• the first day of Sunday after the Nativity of Christ, or in another way "Red Hill";
• days of the Kazan and Iberian icons of the Mother of God;
• day of Nicholas the Wonderworker.

Best of all, which is compiled specifically for each year, based on certain dates. You can also consult with the priest about the desired date and month.

Basic Rules

List of necessary things for the ceremony

1. Marriage registration document. If they were previously married or married, then divorce certificate.
2. Illuminated rings. In ancient times, there was a tradition according to which a man brought a golden ornament to the temple, which symbolized the sun and God, and a girl brought silver, it meant the moon and the church. After the three-fold exchange, the bride had a piece of gold, and the groom had a piece of silver. In the modern world, priests allow you not to follow such canons and choose accessories to your taste, the main thing is that it should not be jewelry. It is recommended to choose more modest models, without huge stones of bright color and other conspicuous decor. After all, the wedding rings of the spouse should be perceived not as beautiful trinkets, but as a symbol of their love. The ideal solution would be: paired, smooth, engraved with names, wedding dates or prayers, with a small diamond or rings. You are allowed to use your wedding rings, if, of course, they comply with the listed rules.
3. Orthodox icons- Christ and the Mother of God, which are needed to bless you. After the Sacrament, be sure to keep them, because they are designed to protect your family life.

   Advice. A good idea is to take the icons of the parents.

4. Large candles and two small white handkerchiefs- for the newlyweds and two of the same scarves for witnesses under the crowns.
5. Two towels or towel. It is better that they are large, because according to tradition, the newlyweds will have to get up on one of them. The second is bandaging the hands.
6. A bottle of red wine, preferably Cahors. His lovers will drink from the same cup during the ceremony.

What needs to be done before the Sacrament

For spiritual purification, three days before the sacral ceremony, it is necessary to refrain from dairy, meat and fish products, as well as eggs, alcoholic beverages and cigarettes. In other words - fast.

Refrain these days from both intimacy and fun activities.

According to the rules, on the eve of the wedding, husband and wife will have to confess. It happens very simply: come to the cathedral and tell the priest about all your sins. He, in turn, acts as an intermediary between you and the Almighty. Try not to be shy about this procedure and do not hide anything. After all, only if you are truly honest and sincere, then God will hear you and forgive all your deeds. Thus, you will enter into a spiritual marriage sinless and renewed.

On the night before the ceremony, after 12, you will have to deny yourself food. Since in the morning, before the Sacrament, there will be attend the liturgy and take communion there. Batiushka will give you a spoonful of wine and a piece of church bread.

Communion and confession are impossible without each other.

Appearance

Bride and those present in Orthodox church girls you must have your head covered. In the case of a newlywed, it can be a veil, a hood from a cape or a bolero, a stole and much more. It is appropriate for guests to wear scarves.

All women should cover: shoulders, back, décolleté and knees. The bridegroom needs to choose the most chaste outfit. should not be too frank, tight, mini length, pretentious, with a lot of decor.

Also give up black, brown and other dark colors. Indeed, within the walls of the cathedral, this is usually regarded as mourning. Any calm light shade will do:

• ivory;
• light pink;
• heavenly;
• peach;
• tea rose;
• beige;
• cream;
• honey;
• pale yellow and so on.

Save flashy and acidic tones like red, green and lemon for another occasion.

Bright make-up for the bride is also not recommended. The ideal solution would be a modest nude and lip gloss. Jewelry should be kept to a minimum, and it’s better not to wear anything on your hands. On this day, let your wedding ring be the main thing.

Shoes should be chosen comfortable for both young people and their guests. After all, the Sacrament lasts about an hour and all this time it will be necessary to stand.

For the groom and invited men the rules are much simpler than for girls. The main thing is to enter the cathedral without hats. For the spouse, a classic suit or a shirt and trousers is quite suitable. The main thing is that the color of the fabric is not flashy, and the style is non-standard.

All those present at the ceremony must wear pectoral crosses.

How to behave in the temple

• you can’t be late for the ceremony, it’s better to come a little earlier;
• Orthodox Christians are required to be baptized right hand, do not forget about this rule;
• women stand on the left side, men stand on the right. It is worth warning your guests about this so that they take the right places before the Sacrament begins, because it will be impossible to walk during the procedure;
• cell phones at the wedding must be turned off and not be distracted by them;
• face the iconostasis;
• about photo and video filming, agree in advance with the priest.

Witnesses

First of all, these are people who help the couple at the ceremony itself. They hold the crowns over the heads of the couple, accompany her during the triple procession, spread the towel in front of the lectern under the feet of the newlyweds, give rings and collect the donated flowers after the completion of the Sacrament.

In most cases, spouses choose either relatives or close friends as witnesses. Those who agree to such a role become spiritual relatives, who after that will no longer be able to marry each other in the future. For a couple, they are like mentors. That is why, approach the choice with all responsibility.

It is impossible for witnesses to be unbaptized or of another religion, unless, of course, you want to follow all the rules.

• parents;
• people who live in an unregistered marriage. This is because the church does not welcome such unions;
• divorced, because those who could not save their own happiness are hardly capable of being advisers to anyone.

If there are no suitable candidates in your environment, then it is better to do without. The main thing is to inform the priest who will conduct the ritual in advance.

Price

As for the price, there is none as such. Because there are no ratings.. But a good tradition is a voluntary donation to the temple, as a token of gratitude for the rite. The amount varies by venue, usually great cathedrals Moscow and St. Petersburg, it is customary to leave from 5,000 thousand rubles, in small towns, most often from 500.

Signs

Although the Orthodox Church does not approve of superstition, considering them a sin, people still come up with various signs. Whether they are empty or worth believing in them is up to you to decide.

1. Happiness to the family will bring a sincere blessing from the parents of the newlyweds.
2. The cathedral must be entered from the right foot.
3. Candle stubs are kept after the wedding, and lit when the children are very sick.
4. Fortunately - to get after the ceremony under the snow or rain.
5. To a troubled life in marriage - to hear the crackle of candles.
6. If suddenly a crown fell from the head of one of the spouses, then he may become a widow.
7. The one whose candle suddenly goes out will be the first to leave this world.
8. For a cloudless relationship - do not look into each other's eyes during the sacred ritual.
9. So that in case of trouble, friends or relatives will come to your aid - borrow some part of the bride's outfit. It can be a brooch, a belt, a scarf and so on.
10. A broken heel or a twisted leg promises a lame family life. Therefore, choose comfortable and comfortable shoes.
11. To good luck - to look after the Sacrament together in one mirror.
12. Smooth smooth rings - to the same calm marriage. But pebbles, roughness and other decor - to problems and difficulties.
13. Do not let anyone try on your wedding dress or rings, thereby you will let them try on your happiness.
14. It is considered a good omen to hear the ringing of bells after the ceremony.
15. It is not necessary for the groom to see his beloved in a festive dress, a joint choice and purchase is also prohibited.

Wedding

The wedding is the sacrament of the Church, in which God gives the future spouses, when they promise to be faithful to each other, the grace of pure unanimity for joint Christian life, birth and upbringing of children.

Those wishing to get married must be believing baptized Orthodox Christians. They should be deeply aware that the unauthorized dissolution of a marriage approved by God, as well as the violation of the vow of fidelity, is an absolute sin.

Sacrament of the Wedding: how to prepare for it?

Marriage life must begin with spiritual preparation.

The bride and groom before marriage must certainly confess and partake of the Holy Mysteries. It is desirable that they prepare themselves for the Sacraments of confession and communion three or four days before this day.

For marriage, you need to prepare two icons - the Savior and Mother of God with which during the Sacrament they bless the bride and groom. Previously, these icons were taken from parental homes, they were passed on as a home shrine from parents to children. Icons are brought by parents, and if they do not participate in the Sacrament of the wedding - by the bride and groom.

The bride and groom get wedding rings. The ring is a sign of eternity and the inseparability of the marriage union. One of the rings should be gold and the other silver. Golden ring symbolizes with its brilliance the sun, the light of which is likened to a husband in marriage; silver - the likeness of the moon, a smaller luminary, shining with reflected sunlight. Now, as a rule, gold rings are bought for both spouses. Rings can also be embellished with precious stones.

But still, the main preparation for the upcoming sacrament is fasting. The Holy Church recommends that those entering into marriage prepare themselves for it by the feat of fasting, prayer, repentance and communion.

How to choose the day for the wedding?

The future spouses should discuss the day and time of the wedding with the priest in advance and personally.
Before the wedding, it is necessary to confess and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. It is possible to do this not on the very day of the Wedding.

It is advisable to invite two witnesses.

To perform the sacrament of the Wedding, you must have:
• Icon of the Savior.
• Icon of the Mother of God.
• Wedding rings.
• Wedding candles (sold in the temple).
• White towel (towel for spreading under the feet).

What do witnesses need to know?

In pre-revolutionary Russia, when church marriage had legal civil and legal force, Orthodox marriage was necessarily performed with guarantors - among the people they were called friend, friend or best man, and in liturgical books (breviaries) - godparents. The guarantors confirmed with their signatures the act of marriage in the register of births; they, as a rule, knew the bride and groom well, and vouched for them. The guarantors took part in the betrothal and wedding, that is, while the bride and groom walked around the lectern, they held the crowns over their heads.

Now guarantors (witnesses) may or may not be - at the request of the spouses. Guarantors must be Orthodox, preferably church people, should treat the Sacrament of the wedding with reverence. The duties of guarantors during marriage are, in their spiritual basis, the same as godparents in Baptism: just as godparents experienced in spiritual life are required to lead godchildren in Christian life, so guarantors must spiritually lead a new family. Therefore, earlier, young people, not married, not familiar with family and married life, were not invited to be guarantors.

About behavior in the temple during the Sacrament of the Wedding

It often seems as if the bride and groom, accompanied by relatives and friends, came to the temple not to pray for those entering into marriage, but to act. Waiting for the end of the Liturgy, they talk, laugh, walk around the church, stand with their backs to the images and the iconostasis. All those invited to the church for a wedding should know that during the wedding, the Church no longer prays for anyone, as soon as for two persons - the bride and groom (unless the prayer “for raising parents” is said only once). The inattention and disrespect of the bride and groom to church prayer shows that they came to the temple only because of custom, because of fashion, at the request of their parents. Meanwhile, this hour of prayer in the temple has an impact on all subsequent family life. All those who are at the wedding, and especially the bride and groom, should pray fervently during the performance of the Sacrament.

How does the engagement take place?

The wedding is preceded by the betrothal.

The betrothal is performed in commemoration of the fact that marriage is performed in the face of God, in His presence, according to His all-good Providence and discretion, when the mutual promises of those entering into marriage are sealed before Him.

The engagement takes place after Divine Liturgy. By this, the bride and groom are instilled with the importance of the Sacrament of marriage, it is emphasized with what reverence and awe, with what spiritual purity they should begin to conclude it.

The fact that the betrothal takes place in the temple means that the husband receives his wife from the Lord Himself. In order to more clearly suggest that the betrothal is performed in the presence of God, the Church commands the betrothed to appear before the holy doors of the temple, while the priest, who at this time depicts the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, is in the sanctuary, or in the altar.

The priest introduces the bride and groom into the temple in commemoration of the fact that those who are getting married, like the primordial forefathers Adam and Eve, begin from this moment before the face of God Himself, in His Holy Church, their new and holy life in a pure marriage.

The ceremony begins with incense in imitation of the pious Tobiah, who set fire to the liver and heart of the fish in order to drive away the demon hostile to honest marriages with smoke and prayer (see: Tov. 8, 2). The priest blesses the groom three times, then the bride, saying: “In the Name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit” and gives them lighted candles. For each blessing, first the groom, then the bride overshadow themselves three times sign of the cross and accept candles from the priest.

The signing of the cross three times and the handing over of lit candles to the bride and groom is the beginning of a spiritual celebration. The lit candles that the bride and groom hold in their hands signify the love that they should now have for each other and which should be fiery and pure. Lighted candles also signify the chastity of the bride and groom and the abiding grace of God.
The cruciform incense signifies the invisible, mysterious presence with us of the grace of the Holy Spirit, who sanctifies us and performs the holy sacraments of the Church.

According to the custom of the Church, every sacred ceremony begins with a glorification of God, and when a marriage is performed, it also has a special meaning: to those who are getting married, their marriage is a great and holy deed, one through which the name of God is glorified and blessed. (Cry: "Blessed is our God.")

Peace from God is necessary for those who are married, and they combine in peace, for peace and unanimity. (The deacon proclaims: “Let us pray to the Lord for peace. Let us pray to the Lord for peace from above and the salvation of our souls.”).

Then the deacon says, between other usual prayers, prayers for the newlyweds on behalf of all those present in the temple. The first prayer of the Holy Church for the bride and groom is a prayer for those who are now engaged and for their salvation. The Holy Church prays to the Lord for the bride and groom entering into marriage. The purpose of marriage is the blessed birth of children for the continuation of the human race. At the same time, the Holy Church pronounces a prayer that the Lord will fulfill any petition of the bride and groom related to their salvation.

The priest, as the performer of the sacrament of marriage, says aloud a prayer to the Lord that He Himself bless the bride and groom for every good deed. Then the priest, having given peace to everyone, commands the bride and groom and all those present in the temple to bow their heads before the Lord, in expectation of a spiritual blessing from him, while he himself secretly reads a prayer.

This prayer goes up to the Lord Jesus Christ, the Bridegroom of the Holy Church, whom He betrothed to Himself.

After that, the priest takes the rings from the holy throne and first puts on the ring to the groom, overshadowing him three times with a cross, saying: “The servant of God (name of the groom) is betrothed to the servant of God (name of the bride) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

Then he puts on the ring to the bride, also with her triple overshadowing, and says the words: “The servant of God (the name of the bride) is betrothed to the servant of God (the name of the groom) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

Rings are very importance: this is not just a gift from the groom to the bride, but a sign of an inseparable, eternal union between them. The rings are placed on the right side of the holy throne, as if before the face of the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. This emphasizes that through touching the holy throne and reclining on it, they can receive the power of sanctification and bring down the blessing of God on the spouses. The rings on the holy throne lie side by side, thereby expressing mutual love and unity in the faith of the bride and groom.

After the blessing of the priest, the bride and groom exchange rings. The groom puts his ring on the bride's hand as a sign of love and readiness to sacrifice everything to his wife and help her all her life; the bride puts her ring on the groom's hand as a sign of her love and devotion, as a sign of her readiness to accept help from him all her life. Such an exchange is made three times in honor and glory. Holy Trinity Who does and approves everything (sometimes the priest himself changes the rings).

Then the priest again prays to the Lord that He Himself bless and confirm the Betrothal, Himself overshadow the position of the rings with a heavenly blessing and send them a guardian angel and guide in their new life. This is where the engagement ends.

How is the wedding done?

Bride and groom holding lit candles in their hands spiritual light sacraments solemnly enter the center of the temple. They are preceded by a priest with a censer, indicating by this that life path they must follow the commandments of the Lord, and their good deeds will ascend to God like incense. The choir greets them with the singing of Psalm 127, in which the prophet-psalmist David glorifies God-blessed marriage; before each verse the choir sings: “Glory to Thee, our God, glory to Thee.”

The bride and groom stand on a kerchief (white or pink) spread out on the floor in front of the lectern, on which lie the cross, the Gospel and crowns.

The bride and groom in the face of the whole Church once again confirm the free and unconstrained desire to marry and the absence in the past on the part of each of them of a promise to a third person to marry him.

The priest asks the groom: “Imache (name), a good and unconstrained will, and a strong thought, take this (name) as your wife, you see right here before you.”
(“Do you have a sincere and unconstrained desire and firm intention to be the husband of this (name of the bride) that you see here in front of you?”)

And the bridegroom answers: “Imam, honest father” (“I have, honest father”). And the priest further asks: “Have you promised yourself to another bride” (“Are you bound by a promise to another bride?”). And the groom replies: “I didn’t promise, honest father” (“No, I’m not bound”).

Then the same question is addressed to the bride: “Do you have a good and unconstrained will, and a firm thought, understand this (name) as your husband, you see it before you here” (“Do you have a sincere and unconstrained desire and firm intention to be a wife this (name of the groom) whom you see before you?”) and “Have you promised yourself to another husband” (“Are you bound by a promise to another groom?”) - “No, not bound”.

So, the bride and groom confirmed before God and the Church the voluntariness and inviolability of their intention to enter into marriage. This will in a non-Christian marriage is a decisive principle. In Christian marriage, it is the main condition for a natural (according to the flesh) marriage, a condition after which it should be considered concluded.

Now, only after the conclusion of this natural marriage, does the mysterious consecration of the marriage by Divine grace begin - the rite of the wedding. The wedding ceremony begins with a liturgical exclamation: “Blessed is the Kingdom…”, which proclaims the participation of the newlyweds in the Kingdom of God.

After a short litany on the well-being of the soul and body of the bride and groom, the priest says three lengthy prayers.

The first prayer is addressed to the Lord Jesus Christ. The priest prays: “Bless this marriage: and give to Your servants this peaceful life, long life, love for each other in the union of the world, a long-lived seed, an unfading crown of glory; make them worthy to see the children of their children, keep their bed unholy. And grant them from the dew of heaven above, and from the fatness of the earth; fill their houses with wheat, wine and oil, and every good thing, so that they share the surplus with those in need, grant to those who are now with us everything that is needed for salvation.

In the second prayer, the priest prays to the Triune Lord to bless, preserve and remember those who are married. “Give them the fruit of the womb, goodness, unanimity in souls, exalt them like the cedars of Lebanon” like a vine with beautiful branches, give them spiked seed, so that they, having contentment in everything, abound for every good deed and pleasing to You. And may they see their sons from their sons, like the young offspring of an olive tree, around their trunk and pleasing before You, may they shine like lights in heaven in You, our Lord.

Then, in the third prayer, the priest once again turns to the Triune God and implores Him that He, who created man and then from his rib created a wife to help him, send down His hand from His holy dwelling, and combine those who are married, crown them in one flesh, and gave them the fruit of the womb.

After these prayers, the most important moments of the wedding come. What the priest prayed to the Lord God before the face of the whole church and together with the whole church - for the blessing of God - is now visibly performed on the newlyweds, strengthens and sanctifies their marital union.

The priest, taking the crown, marks them with a cruciform groom and gives him to kiss the image of the Savior, attached to the front of the crown. When crowning the bridegroom, the priest says: “The servant of God (the name of the rivers) is getting married to the servant of God (the name of the rivers) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

Blessing the bride in the same way and allowing her to venerate the image Holy Mother of God adorning her crown, the priest crowns her, saying: “The servant of God (the name of the rivers) is married to the servant of God (the name of the rivers) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

Decorated with crowns, the bride and groom stand before the face of God Himself, the face of the entire Church, heavenly and earthly, and await the blessing of God. The most solemn, most holy minute of the wedding is coming!

The priest says: “Lord, our God, crown them with glory and honor!” At these words, he, on behalf of God, blesses them. The priest pronounces this prayer proclamation three times and blesses the bride and groom three times.

All those present in the temple should intensify the prayer of the priest, in the depths of their souls they should repeat after him: “Lord, our God! Crown them with glory and honor!”

The laying on of crowns and the words of the priest:

“Our Lord, crown them with glory and honor” - they imprint the Sacrament of marriage. The Church, blessing the marriage, proclaims those who are married to be the ancestors of the new Christian family- a small, home church, showing them the way to the Kingdom of God and signifying the eternity of their union, its indissolubility, as the Lord said: What God has combined, let no man separate (Matt. 19:6).

Then the Epistle to the Ephesians of the holy Apostle Paul (5, 20-33) is read, where the marriage union is likened to the union of Christ and the Church, for which the Savior who loved her gave Himself. A husband's love for his wife is a likeness of Christ's love for the Church, and a wife's lovingly humble obedience to her husband is a likeness of the Church's attitude towards Christ. true followers of Him, who through suffering and martyrdom confirmed their fidelity and love for the Lord.

The last saying of the apostle: and let the wife be afraid of her husband - calls not for the fear of the weak before the strong, not for the fear of the slave in relation to the master, but for the fear of saddening a loving person, breaking the unity of souls and bodies. The same fear of losing love, and therefore the presence of God in family life, should also be experienced by a husband, whose head is Christ. In another epistle, the apostle Paul says: The wife has no power over her own body, but the husband does; likewise, the husband has no power over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a while, for exercise in fasting and prayer, and then be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance (1 Cor. 7, 4-5).

Husband and wife are members of the Church and, being particles of the fullness of the Church, they are equal among themselves, obeying the Lord Jesus Christ.

After the Apostle, the Gospel of John is read (2:1-11). It proclaims God's blessing of the marital union and its sanctification. The miracle of the transformation of water into wine by the Savior foreshadowed the action of the grace of the sacrament, by which earthly conjugal love rises to heavenly love, uniting souls in the Lord. St. Andrew of Crete speaks of the moral change necessary for this, “Marriage is honorable and the bed is immaculate, for Christ blessed them in Cana at the marriage, eating food of the flesh and turning water into wine, having manifested this first miracle, so that you, soul, would change” (Great Canon, in Russian translation, troparion 4, song 9).

After reading the Gospel, a brief petition for the newlyweds and a prayer of the priest are uttered on behalf of the Church, in which we pray to the Lord that He preserve those who are united in peace and like-mindedness, that their marriage is honest, their bed is not filthy, their cohabitation is blameless, so that they will be able to live to old age when performed from pure heart his commandments.

The priest proclaims: “And vouchsafe us, Vladyka, with boldness, without condemnation, dare to call on You, Heavenly God the Father, and speak…”. And the newlyweds, together with all those present, sing the prayer “Our Father”, the foundation and crown of all prayers, commanded to us by the Savior Himself.

In the mouths of those who are married, she expresses her determination to serve the Lord with her little church, so that through them on earth His will be fulfilled and reign in their family life. As a sign of humility and devotion to the Lord, they bow their heads under the crowns.

After the Lord's Prayer, the priest glorifies the Kingdom, the power and glory of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and, having taught the world, commands to bow our heads before God, as before the King and Master, and at the same time before our Father. Then a cup of red wine is brought, or rather a cup of communion, and the priest blesses it for the mutual communion of husband and wife. Wine at the wedding is served as a sign of joy and fun, recalling the miraculous transformation of water into wine, performed by Jesus Christ in Cana of Galilee.

The priest gives the young couple three times to drink wine from a common cup - first to the husband, as the head of the family, then to the wife. Usually they drink wine in three small sips: first the husband, then the wife.

Having presented the common cup, the priest connects the right hand of the husband with the right hand of the wife, covers their hands with epitrachelion and puts his hand on top of it. This means that through the hand of the priest the husband receives a wife from the Church itself, uniting them in Christ forever. The priest circles the newlyweds three times around the lectern.

During the first circumambulation, the troparion “Isaiah, rejoice…” is sung, in which the sacrament of the incarnation of the Son of God Emmanuel from the Unsophisticated Mary is glorified.

During the second circumambulation, the troparion “Holy Martyr” is sung. Crowned with crowns, as conquerors of earthly passions, they are an image of the spiritual marriage of the believing soul with the Lord.

Finally, in the third troparion, which is sung during the last circumambulation of the lectern, Christ is glorified as the joy and glory of the newlyweds, their hope in all circumstances of life: “Glory to Thee, Christ God, praise of the apostles, joy of the martyrs, their preaching. Trinity consubstantial."

This circular walk means the eternal procession that began on this day for this couple. Their marriage will be an eternal procession hand in hand, a continuation and manifestation of the sacrament that has been accomplished today. Remembering the common cross laid on them today, “carrying each other's burdens,” they will always be filled with the grace-filled joy of this day. At the end of the solemn procession, the priest removes the crowns from the spouses, greeting them with words filled with patriarchal simplicity and therefore especially solemn:

“Be magnified, bridegroom, like Abraham, and be blessed like Isaac, and multiply like Jacob, walk in the world and do the commandments of God in righteousness.”

“And you, bride, be exalted like Sarah, and rejoice like Rebekah, and multiply like Rachel, rejoicing over your husband, keeping the limits of the law, for God is so pleased.”

Then, in the next two prayers, the priest asks the Lord, who blessed the marriage in Cana of Galilee, to accept the crowns of the newlyweds undefiled and blameless in His Kingdom. In the second prayer read by the priest, with the bowing of the heads of the newlyweds, these petitions are sealed with the name of the Most Holy Trinity and the priestly blessing. At the end of it, the newlyweds with a chaste kiss testify to the holy and pure love for each other.

Further, according to custom, the newlyweds are brought to the royal doors, where the groom kisses the icon of the Savior, and the bride - the image of the Mother of God; then they change places and are applied accordingly: the groom - to the icon of the Mother of God, and the bride - to the icon of the Savior. Here the priest gives them a cross for kissing and hands them two icons: the groom - the image of the Savior, the bride - the image of the Most Holy Theotokos.

What gives a person a wedding? The question is difficult. One is a lot. A sense of spiritual unity, an understanding of the importance of marriage, the strength to overcome life's troubles. It’s as if it doesn’t give anything to others: as the spouses lived in eternal quarrels and squabbles, they continue to gnaw at each other. Still others scatter altogether, “dropping” their crowns… So what is the meaning of the sacrament of the Church and why is it that a married family in Orthodoxy is considered the pinnacle of matrimony, although the Church recognizes the legality of a marriage officially registered by the state?

The meaning of marriage in the temple

What does a wedding bring to a family? Alas, when today's newlyweds rush to the temple, they rarely ask themselves this question. Someone is pushed to the altar by the example of friends; someone is persuaded by believing parents; someone follows a random spiritual impulse ... Meanwhile, the sacrament of a wedding is a serious and deeply spiritual act, which must be approached with a full understanding of what you are doing. Its meaning is:

• In getting two loving people God's blessing for the construction of a new family, the birth and upbringing of children.
• In the spiritual and bodily union of strangers before men and women into "one flesh" in order to pass together earthly life with all its difficulties and trials and unite in Eternity.
• In creating a union similar to the union of Christ and the Church, where the husband loves and protects his wife more than life, as Christ loves the Church. And the wife, in turn, obeys her husband, just as the Church obeys Christ, respects and trusts him.

It is still not clear what wedding gives spouses, because the desire to live up to gray hair in love and understanding, take care of each other, equally share joys and sorrows is common to all lovers? .. But falling in love is a passing feeling. As soon as he cools down a bit, many are ready to destroy the marriage, confident that they have met the wrong person. In our time, it is considered the norm not to “rape” oneself, but to run away as soon as possible and look for the next life partner, with whom everything will definitely work out ... Thanks to this approach, other newlyweds do not even try to solve the everyday problems that have arisen, preferring to get rid of them in one fell swoop. As the saying goes, "to break is not to build."

Marriage helps spouses realize the importance of a marriage for life. Truly believing husband and wife always remember the mission that they have entrusted to themselves. After all, they gave the word to God himself to stay together, which means they will do everything possible to keep the promise!

However, one should not think that married families are based solely on fear of punishment for breaking vows. The meaning of the invisible bonds that bind spouses is much more subtle.

What holds together a married union?

There are young people who are sincerely sure that a wedding guarantees a happy marriage. Say, they stood in front of the icons, exchanged rings and that's it. Get a certificate with a seal and a firm promise to live happily ever after! Of course it isn't. Married couples have the same difficulties, quarrels, the desire to quit everything, heading along different paths, as in any family. However, believing spouses cope with problems, remembering that God's grace is always invisibly present between them, with which everything is possible to do. Just put in the effort! It is both a kind of support and an endless source mental strength and patience, and an everlasting reminder of the love that brought you to the altar. With such support, you can overcome any worldly troubles.

Marriage and eternal life

With earthly existence is more or less clear. And what gives the wedding after death? For example, Christ himself in one of the parables said that for the resurrected there would no longer be the concept of “husband” and “wife”, and the existence of people would become like an angelic one. Does this mean that the sacred bonds of marriage will be broken, and the former spouses will become strangers to each other? Naturally, no. Love, warmth and a sense of spiritual unity will remain with you and in eternal life no matter how your existence changes. No wonder that the main symbol of marriage is the wedding ring, which has no end! What unites once on earth, under the singing of psalms and the prayers of a priest, goes indestructibly into Eternity.

Believers say that getting married in a church gives strength to keep love on earth and the hope of reuniting with a loved one after death. However, God gives real family happiness, love and true intimacy only to those spouses whose efforts he sees. Keep this in mind and do not give up if your family boat inadvertently scrapes the bottom against the rocks of everyday problems. Together, and with God's grace, you will overcome them.

The rector of the Church of the Martyr Lucy of Syracuse in Blagoveshchensk answers the most frequently asked questions about the meaning and meaning of the wedding Priest Svyatoslav Shevchenko.

—Batiushka, why is a wedding necessary for marriage, a church blessing? What is the point of marriage?

- A wedding is a sacrament of union, merging, merging of two souls into one whole at a sacred level. This is obedience to God and the literal fulfillment of one of His first commandments, which sounded in Paradise. The Sacrament of the Wedding is an invocation of God's blessing on the family, an invitation to Him to be a part of this family, or rather, that the family become a part of the Lord. It is not for nothing that the family in this respect is called a small church, where the head of the family is like a priest, symbolizing Christ, and the wife is like the Church, betrothed to the Savior. And in this small church have their own mystical life, their divine services - in the form of the sacrifice of spouses, the birth and upbringing of children, the spiritual ascent to Heaven. There is nothing similar in other forms of creating a family. Therefore, for believers, a wedding is an important step.

- If there is no desire and intention to live exactly church life, in Christ, regularly attend services, and so on, but inside there is an understanding that you need to get married, what to do?

– Well, with what do you need to start your path to God? For someone, perhaps, it will begin with the sacrament of the Wedding. Personally, I personally felt the power of the sacrament on my family. My wife and I first signed. And there was a feeling that nothing special happened. As if we had concluded some kind of property deal in the registry office. As if they signed an agreement that they do not mind living together. Something empty and colorless. But when we were crowned by our confessor in one small rural church, and our relatives and close friends were praying around us, we were somehow mystically reborn. They began to feel a spiritual connection on a non-verbal level, it was not there - and suddenly it appeared. It is noteworthy that our friend recorded the sacrament on a video camera. When we looked at these frames, we saw that at some point they suddenly became very similar to each other. We saw what we had not noticed before, what was hidden from our eyes. Therefore, I am simply sure that the Wedding gave a powerful impetus to our further churching.

- How to explain to the bride or groom why to get married?

– If a man loves his wife very much and considers himself a Christian, then he must trust the Church. A wedding is the peak that a family can reach. This is the highest, new level of being of spouses in the system of Heavenly coordinates. Moreover, in my life experience I was convinced that God helps to solve seemingly insoluble problems, conflicts, troubles. Christ carries the crowned marriage in his arms (not without our striving and diligence, of course). The main thing is to let Him into your family. After all, during family conflicts we call on various advisers (friends, girlfriends, colleagues, psychologists) as arbitrators. And in the sacrament it is proposed to make the Heavenly King Himself such a good helper. That is the essence of marriage. Who would refuse such an honor?

- Marriage is a serious step, for life. Maybe you should first register a marriage at the registry office and live together, and then get married, to be sure?

- Here it would be appropriate to recall a tradition that, unfortunately, is a thing of the past: the tradition of performing the rite of betrothal at a certain time before the sacrament of the Wedding. Today, the priest does it in the temple at the same time - he got engaged and immediately got married. This was justified in the Soviet era, when every celebration of divine services and sacraments was dangerous. Today, nothing prevents us from betrothing spouses registered in the registry office, for example, six months, a year before the wedding. Thus, the newlyweds would go through a probationary period before the Sacrament, testing their relationship for seriousness, because today, unfortunately, we have to deal with such a phenomenon when once-married spouses besiege local diocesan administrations with an urgent request to “dethrone” them. But they are unaware that the Sacraments do not have retroactive effect - you cannot be baptized, confess, take communion, get married. And if there were no serious reasons, then both spouses will answer to God for the fact that they failed to save the family, in which they promised to Him. And between the engagement and the wedding - there will be a period to think hard and make a final decision.

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The sacrament of marriage is a sacred Orthodox rite that gives spouses a blessing for family life and the birth of children. To date, quite a lot of young couples decide to carry out this tradition. Yes, this is not strange, because this event is beautiful and very touching.

But you need to understand that you need to go through the sacrament of the wedding not because it is a modern tribute to fashion. Remember that this should be a serious deliberate step. Therefore, you need to know all its features.

Have a wedding ceremony in Orthodox Church you can at any time - on your wedding day, a few days later, a week or a year later. For the church, it doesn't matter when you decide to take this step. The main thing is that you need to comply with all the conditions that the church provides.

One of the important conditions for the sacrament is the presence of a marriage document (certificate). Also, young spouses must be baptized. However, the last rule can be circumvented. Today, more than one church allows a ceremony to be held when one of the spouses does not Orthodox Christian. But at the same time they put a condition that children born in this marriage must be baptized in the Orthodox Church.

There is another rule of the wedding ceremony. It is important that the spouses correspond to the age of marriage:

• the groom must be at least 18 years old;
• Bride must be 16 years of age.

Do not worry that you will be refused if your wife is pregnant. This will not happen, since there is an opinion of the church, where children should be born only in a married marriage. It is also possible to conduct a sacrament when the spouses have not received parental blessings. In this case, a spiritual father can give a blessing.

There are not many restrictions for the ceremony. The Church does not give the owl permission in such cases:

• when spouses are spiritual or blood relatives;
• when unbaptized or atheists marry.
• when you have registered your fourth marriage, the ceremony can only be held three times.

Preparing for the wedding

To this Orthodox tradition you need to prepare yourself spiritually. Spouses before the ceremony must pray, take communion, confess and endure a three-day fast, during which it is forbidden to eat animal products.

Before the wedding, you need to refrain from carnal relations. This rule also applies to couples who have lived together for several years. It is necessary not to enter into close relationships for several days before the sacrament.

Choice of guarantors

The choice of witnesses must be approached responsibly. Often they are chosen among relatives. But there are a few rules here. Witnesses must be baptized. It is strictly forbidden to take as guarantors:

• couples who live in a "civil" marriage;
• divorced spouses.

It is best to invite young people who are not familiar with married life as witnesses. But if you have any problems finding guarantors, the ceremony can be performed without them.

What do the witnesses at the wedding

When conducting this church rite, certain responsibilities are assigned to the guarantors. Often, the actions and rules for their implementation, which the assistants of the spouses must perform, are negotiated in advance with the clergyman. This is necessary so that during the wedding tradition there are no problems and overlaps.

Traditionally, the following duties are imposed on witnesses (but these may differ depending on the rules of the church itself):

• Keep the crowns over the heads of the spouses;
• Accompany the bride and groom during the triple procession;
• Lay a towel in front of the lectern;
• Serve wedding rings;
• Help collect bouquets after the ceremony.

What to give for a wedding

The traditions of this ceremony do not provide for any specific gifts. But it is best to give the following things:

• shelves for the iconostasis;
• icons;
• gift bible;
• candlesticks;
• coins with faces of saints;
• lamps.

How is the wedding

The ceremony is conditionally divided into two stages: betrothal and wedding. It is worth noting that the priest of the newlyweds will call them exclusively church names. The newlyweds are betrothed before entering the temple.

The bride always stands to the left of the groom. The clergyman blesses them and hands them lit candles, which the young people hold until the end of the ceremony.

The Lord is always with you!

Watch the video in which you will learn about the wedding and how to prepare for the sacrament: