Your relative died - what to do to survive this grief? This question worries many people when they lose a loved one. After all, almost everyone in this world once faced with the loss of dear people. It is very difficult to survive such a loss, because the loss of a loved one or relative is always an unforeseen event. Even if a person was seriously ill, it is still difficult to believe that he is no longer there.

You have died close person- what to do?

Because of the death of a loved one, you may feel the loss of emotional connections, guilt, or a sense of unfulfilled debt to him. All these thoughts can cause extreme stress. You understand that you will never see this person again and drown in despair and grief. When a person feels grief, he cannot continue to live normally, he experiences a feeling of detachment and becomes discouraged. Feeling stress after you have lost a loved one is completely natural. Over time, this will pass, the main thing to remember is that life goes on. You can go to church, talk to loved ones about your experiences, take walks in quiet places - all this will help you get over grief.

But there are several stages that a person will have to go through in order to cope with their loss:

A person has died, what to do in the first stage after death?

The first stage is the first human. At this time, you feel shock and fall into a stupor. During this period, you must cry out all your tears, as tears are a medicine that helps to get rid of inner worries and stress.

A person has died, what to do in the second stage after death?

The second stage lasts up to 40 days. It is expressed in the fact that you cannot accept the loss of a loved one. You have dreams with this person, and it may seem that he is somewhere nearby. If you often dream and think about the deceased, then you simply cannot cope with this loss. At the stage, you should understand that this is how the world was created, the death of a person is a law of nature.

A person has died, what to do in the third stage after death?

The third stage can last up to six months. During this time, you are trying to come to terms with your loss. A few months after you have lost a loved one, you may feel devastated and strong. It seems to the person that life is over, guilt may appear. At this stage, you must understand that all the feelings that you are now experiencing in relation to a deceased person are only for you to feel sorry for yourself, because you have been deprived of something dear and valuable in life. Therefore, you must stop feeling sorry for yourself and start empathizing with other people. Try to shift your attention from yourself to others and understand their feelings and emotions.

A person has died, what to do at the fourth stage after death?

The fourth stage is the time up to a year after the death of a person. At this stage, you accept that you have lost a loved one, stop crying and learn to live in a world where there is no longer a dead person. The feeling of anger at the whole world passes, you learn to control your grief. You remember the deceased alive and talk about the memorable bright moments in the life of a loved one.

After going through all these stages, a lot changes in a person and his outlook on life. After a person has realized and gone through all the stages of his grief, he often changes something in his life.

Dealing with the loss of a loved one is difficult, but time is the best doctor. The deceased loved one will always remain in your heart. Remember that your friends will always support you, listen and help you cope with your grief. And don't forget that life goes on for you. That is why it is necessary to set new goals and confidently move forward.

• In the first seven days after the death of a person, do not take out of the house no things.
• On the 9th day after death, relatives go to the temple, order a memorial service, and lay a second memorial table at home. The family of the deceased did not sit at the first memorial table .
  
  Now, on the contrary: a family and nine more people sat at the table (three who washed the deceased, three who made the coffin, three who dug a hole). In modern conditions, the number of guests may vary, because there are various public services that provide the necessary funeral services: the deceased is dressed in the mortuary, the coffin can be bought at the funeral supplies store, the grave can also be prepared in advance. Therefore, there may be 3 - 6 - 9 invitees, or there may be no one.
• On the 40th day after the death of a person, a third memorial table is arranged - “Sarakavitsy”, at which the family of the deceased, relatives, relatives, friends, work colleagues are present. In the church I order Sorokoust - forty liturgies.
• From the day of the funeral until the 40th day, remembering the name of the deceased, we must pronounce the verbal charm formula for ourselves and all the living. At the same time, the same words are a symbolic wish for the deceased: "Earth rest in peace", thereby expressing wishes that his soul would be in paradise.
• • After the 40th day and for the next three years, we will say a different formula-wish: "The kingdom of heaven to him." Thus we wish the deceased afterlife in Paradise. These words should be addressed to any deceased, regardless of the circumstances of his life and death. At the same time, they are guided by the biblical commandment "Judge not, lest you be judged."
  • During the year following the death of a person, none of the family members has the moral right to take part in any festive celebration.
  • None of the members of the family of the deceased (including the second degree of relationship) could marry or marry during the period of mourning,
  • If a relative of the 1st or 2nd degree of kinship has died in the family and a year has not yet passed after his death, then such a family does not have the right to paint eggs red for Easter (they must be white or any other color - blue, black, green) and, accordingly, take part in the celebrations of Easter night.
  • After the death of the husband, the wife is forbidden for a year to wash anything on the day of the week on which the trouble happened.
  • For a year after death, everything in the house where the deceased lived remains in a state of rest or permanence: repairs cannot be made, furniture rearranged, nothing is given away or sold from the things of the deceased until the soul of the deceased reaches eternal rest.
  • During this year and all subsequent years, you can go to the cemetery only on Saturdays (except for 9, 40 days after death and church holidays of honoring ancestors, such as Radunitsa or Autumn Grandfathers). These are the days of commemoration of the dead recognized by the church. Try to convince your relatives that you should not constantly come to the grave to the deceased, thereby harming their health.
  • Whichever way you come to the cemetery, come back the same way.
  • Visit the cemetery before 12 noon.
  • days special commemoration deceased during the year:

  Meatfare Saturday - Saturday in the ninth week before Easter;

  universal parent saturday- Saturday in the second week of Great Lent;

  Ecumenical Parental Saturday - Saturday in the third week of Great Lent;

  Ecumenical Parental Saturday - Saturday in the fourth week of Great Lent;

  Radunitsa - Tuesday in the second week after Easter;

  Trinity Saturday - Saturday in the seventh week after Easter;

  Dmitrievskaya Saturday - Saturday in the third week after the Intercession (14.10).

  • Exactly one year after the death, the family of the deceased celebrates a memorial meal (“please”) - the 4th, final memorial family and birth table. It must be remembered that the living cannot be congratulated on their birthday in advance, and the final memorial table should be arranged either exactly one year later, or 1-3 days earlier.
  • On this day, you need to go to the temple and order a memorial service for the deceased, go to the cemetery - visit the grave.
  • As soon as the last memorial meal, the family is again included in the traditional scheme of holiday regulations folk calendar, becomes a full member of the community, has the right to take part in any tribal celebrations, including playing weddings.
  • A monument on the grave can be erected only after a year after the death of a person. Moreover, it is necessary to remember the golden rule of folk culture: "Do not graze the land with pasture Pakravou and Radaunshchy." This means that if the year of the deceased fell at the end of October, i.e. after the Intercession (and for the entire subsequent period up to Radunitsa), then the monument can only be erected in the spring, after Radunitsa.
  • After the installation of the monument, the cross (usually wooden) is placed next to the grave for another year, and then thrown away. It can also be buried under a flower garden or under a gravestone.
  • Marrying (getting married) after the death of one of the spouses is possible only in a year. If a woman married a second time, then the new husband became the full owner-owner only after seven years.
  • If the spouses were married, then after the death of the husband, his wife took his ring, and if she no longer married, then both wedding rings were placed in her coffin.
  • If the husband buried his wife, then her wedding ring remained with him, and after his death, both rings were placed in his coffin, so that, having met in the Kingdom of Heaven, they would say: “I brought our rings, with which the Lord God crowned us.
  • For three years, the birthday of the deceased and the day of his death are celebrated. After this period, only the day of death and all annual church holidays commemoration of ancestors.
  • Not all of us know how to pray, much less know prayers for the dead. Learn a few prayers that may help you find peace in your soul after an irreparable loss.

Death will take each of us, it is a fact, but we are more worried if a close loved one dies than the thought that we ourselves will someday die.

What to do if a loved one dies?

The death of a loved one is usually a great loss, showing how attached we were to him.

Faced with this phenomenon, a person can experience various negative emotions and experience unpleasant states:
- a state of shock, stunned, numbness, confusion. This usually happens in the first minutes after receiving the sad news.
- a sense of guilt, remorse, self-flagellation - if a person believes that by his actions or inaction he harmed the deceased.
- anger and anger arising from impotence before the fact that happened.
- loneliness and sadness, especially if the husband, wife or other family member has died.
- apathy, fatigue, unwillingness to do anything.
- anxiety and fear for the future - as a result of the inability or inability to cope alone with the difficulties of life.
Other emotions and states are also possible, which, as a rule, lose their sharpness over time. But what to do when emotions are strong, and the soul is very bad?

If someone died, what makes us suffer?

This is not consolation, these are facts that are taken from scriptures and supplemented by the point of view of psychologists. Although, as a consolation, it will also do.

The first thing to understand is that the real tragedy is not that someone died, but that modern man became so identified with the body that he forgot his true nature. Watch the video The true nature of the soul (human) and read articles on this topic. The soul, unlike the body, cannot die, and for the soul, death is a liberation from the mortal shell, subject to disease, aging and suffering.

If a loved one dies, we suffer for the most part not because we worry about where he will go (as a soul) after death, but because of our false concept of “I am the body, he is also the body”, and also because his selfish attachment to him. Few people really worry about where the soul, freed from the material shell, will go after death.

Therefore, it can be said that almost all suffering is caused by our selfish attachment, or rather, the desire to enjoy the presence of a loved one or a loved one who has already left this mortal body and cannot satisfy our selfish desires.

In rare cases, we suffer because we worry about where the soul will go after death. Everyone can honestly determine for himself whether the reason is in this, or, nevertheless, in his own egoism.

What exactly to do if a loved one died

If you are asking this question, you should understand that we are all - all souls - interconnected on a subtle plane. And when we think about this or that person, or he thinks about us, there is a contact at the level of the soul. Moreover, it does not matter whether the person (soul) is in the body, or the body has already died. From this it is necessary to proceed.

If you believe in God, you can read the appropriate prayers, go to church, and follow all other religious instructions. This is very auspicious for the soul that has left the dead body. To a certain extent, his future fate depends on your prayers and religious rites.

If you don't believe in God, but accepting the possibility that the soul is eternal, and does not die at the time of the death of the body, the following will do:

If you feel guilty about the soul that left the body, ask her forgiveness. This implies sincere repentance for your wrongdoings and a humble request to forgive you. This should be done as long as you feel the need, that is, as long as the feeling of guilt persists.
- wish happiness to the departed person (that is, the soul). A sincere wish for happiness charges him with positive energy, and from this he future destiny can improve significantly. By the way, yours too.
- thank a loved one (and now just a soul) for all the good that he has done for you.
Forgive him everything that, in your opinion or feeling, he did you bad.
- release the soul that has left the material body, as it is no longer part of this world. You cannot return it, and your constant thoughts about the deceased loved one cause him anxiety and may prevent him from breaking the thread of affection for you. It will not be better for you or the deceased relative.

What not to do if a loved one dies

Since we are all interconnected on a subtle plane, your excessive emotions and endless conversations about a dead person cause him anxiety. And according to the law of karma, if we give someone trouble, it will return to us. In addition, with our excessive emotions and talking about the death of a loved one, we draw other people with whom we talk about these topics into a negative mood, and they (in a negative frame of mind) once again remember the person who died, thereby giving him even more anxiety. besides you. You bear karmic responsibility for this. Do not harm yourself, others and souls that have left the body. The retribution for such behavior can be serious illnesses and other troubles.

And as a consolation

It is not given to us to know why a person dies of illness at a young age, or why he dies a stupid death, just as it is not given to know where he will go after the death of the body.

Perhaps he worked off bad karma in this body, and now he is supposed to be born in a new healthy body, in a good family and a better country, or even on heavenly planets.

Or maybe he completed his last mission in this mortal world, and God returned him home - to the spiritual world.

Only deeply spiritual people and sages can roughly determine where the soul of the deceased will go, but even they can be wrong, since the ways of the Lord are inscrutable.

The material of the article is based on Vedic and esoteric materials.

When loved ones die we are desperate. Grief, tears, pain and rejection, anger at God, a feeling of terrible injustice. and unwillingness to continue to live, longing and meaninglessness of existence. If only we knew the consequences of our feelings. If someone told us that tears are the death of a departed soul...

We come into this world with a certain mission, and when we fulfill it, we leave. Even if we leave at an early age, without having had time to know life, in youth, when everything, it would seem, is just beginning, in maturity, when you are just beginning to understand the meaning of life ... Even if we die from terrible diseases, die as a result of an accident or from old age … This is not will . This is the will of our soul, which, being born in its body, knows what it is doing. She needs this experience in order to improve, develop and reach a higher spiritual level. And the soul will be able to choose a new body to pass new way and live new life. She can, if she does not feel the suffering of people close to her during her lifetime. Therefore, with all due respect to your grief and understanding of feelings, I will tell you what absolutely cannot be done, when loved ones die to you people.

When a person dies, the soul begins to leave the body. And in no case should you throw yourself on the chest of the deceased, as this interferes with her release. The soul at this moment is trying to establish contact with the suffering person, to inform him that everything is fine, that there is no need to kill yourself like that, that there is only peace, joy and love around. But a loved one is emotionally exhausted, immersed in his grief and does not hear the weak voice of intuition.

Since the soul is connected with its loved ones by energy channels, if they continue to suffer, cry, constantly remember the deceased, or even worse, talk to him as if he were a living person, the soul will experience suffering. She will not be able to carry out her mission further, as they simply will not let her go. The fact that your loved one left is the decision of his soul, and it will be better for him if you do not suffer, but accept it as his will.

Listen to your dreams , often their souls try to say or ask for something through a dream. Perhaps they are cold, they are hungry, or they dream of returning back to Earth. No need to be afraid, just remember what the deceased person told you in a dream, whether he cried or smiled, suffered or was happy. Of course, such dreams open wounds, but try not to lose heart!

If you want to help, pray. helps the soul to get rid of the attachments of earthly life and draw closer to God. Prayer calms the soul, gives it peace, helps to adapt to another world, to atone for your sins.

If you want to help, let the person go, live on and be sure to be happy. Without him. This is not a betrayal, as some believe, but your path, your mission, after which you will leave.

If you want to help, remember only the good, experiencing the joy of what it was.

And appreciate every moment of life spent with other loved ones, because no one knows when their mission will end.