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Everything about religion and faith - "prayer if you lose faith in God" with a detailed description and photographs.

What to do if you have lost faith? What to do if you are afraid to take communion?

What to do if you have completely lost faith in God? You ask Him, but He does not help. I understand, of course, that we create our own destiny, but He, too, must help. And what to do if you are afraid of the sacrament?

Hello Ilaria. By definition Reverend John The believer of the Ladder is not the one who thinks that everything is possible with God, but who believes that he will receive everything that he asks from God. Christ Himself says: Ask, and it will be given to you (Matt. 7:7), and whatever you ask in prayer with faith, you will receive (Matt. 21:22). Thus, the Lord shows that our faith is an indispensable condition for the fulfillment of our prayers. But the Lord does not always fulfill the requests and even ardently believing people. It happens that what we diligently ask for in our prayers will not benefit us, and, moreover, may even harm us. And it happens that what we ask for is simply untimely, and the Lord will surely give it, but later, just when what we ask will serve our benefit. And yet, we very often do not notice His countless good deeds for us, believing that He has left us. This is not true. I will give you one, perhaps known to you, parable: One dying person during his transition to better world introduced himself life path like footprints in the sand. At the same time, besides his own footprints, he saw one more footprint - God's. And then he was struck by the fact that in the most difficult moments of his life, God's trace is lost. And he, shocked, asked: Lord, how could You leave me, suffering and exhausted, in such difficult days and hours? To which the Lord answered him that He carried him at that time in his arms ...

And yet, we very often (not to say always) seek God, but not God. We sometimes have some kind of consumer attitude towards Him. We ask Him, we want Him to fulfill everything, and that's it. But we do not want Him to be wholly in our life. We are better off without Him. Therefore, we simply need to change priorities in our lives. To desire not only Divine blessings, but to desire a sincere personal meeting with Christ, to desire to be with God.

The loss of faith is a terrible spiritual catastrophe. But I ask you not to despair. To God everything is possible. Remember the words of the father of the lad, healed by the Savior, who answered Christ's question "do you believe" - ​​"I believe, Lord, help my unbelief."

It is quite difficult to answer the question about the sacrament, because you did not indicate what exactly you are afraid of. If this fear of communion is unworthy, in condemnation, then here we can advise you to keep this feeling of unworthiness in yourself and take communion, because only in this case can we partake most worthily. But let me remind you that this Great Mystery must also be approached with firm faith.

Faith is a step from the boat to the water

Constantly using the words "faith", "believing", "believer", picking up the priest or deacon "I believe in the One ...", do we think about what it is - faith? What does it mean to believe in God? Why does one person believe in God and the other does not, what is the difference between these two people? How and why does yesterday's atheist gain faith? Let's try to clarify this for ourselves with the help of the editor-in-chief of our journal, hegumen Nektariy (Morozov).

To the question of what faith is, the best answer, of course, is the apostle Paul in the Epistle to the Hebrews: the realization of what is expected and the certainty of the invisible (11, one). We know well what trust is. We communicate with a person, and thanks to his actions, his behavior towards us, we have confidence in him. Faith in God is also trust in Him. But here a person must - even without knowing God at all, not yet seeing Him in his life - believe that He exists. This is very similar to the very step of the Apostle Peter - from the side of the boat to the heaving shaft of the Lake of Gennesaret (see: Matt. 14, 29). Peter takes this step at the word of his Master.

How faith arises in a person's heart - this question cannot be fully answered. There are a lot of people around us, believers and non-believers; both among those and among others there are kind, honest, merciful, decent people ... And it is impossible to draw a line, to say: this type of people inevitably comes to faith, but this one does not. Faith is an encounter with God, and it different people happens differently. One person experiences this meeting directly and does not need to reason, while the other thinks, analyzes and finally comes to the conclusion that God exists, and this confidence of the mind is transferred to his heart. Reason alone, without the participation of the heart, does not lead to faith. There are as many scientists as you like, who perfectly understand that none of the existing scientific theories explains the origin of the universe, but who for some reason are unable to say: “I believe, Lord and Creator.” Only the person who has had a meeting with God in his heart can use the analysis. There are such words in the Apocalypse: Behold, I stand at the door and knock: if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him, and I will dine with him, and he with Me. (3, twenty). Someone will hear this knock and open the door - being a scientist and eventually coming to the conclusion that science is powerless in explaining certain things. Someone will suddenly hear a knock that has actually been heard all his life - having received unexpected help in grief. And someone - when everyone leaves him, when he is left all alone. And he will understand, perhaps for the first time, that there is Someone Who loves him. But each of them recognizes God, until then unknown, in a feeling that cannot be confused with anything. Because meeting with God involves recognition. It is impossible, of course, to answer the question why a person recognized the Father at this very moment, and not earlier, not later. But any of us can be compared to a fruit hanging on a branch and ripening in due time. It's just that someone will ripen, and someone will sag and eventually fall from this branch unripe ... What is faith? One word can be answered like this: faith is a miracle.

From another psychologist you can hear that faith is just the best way for certain natures to live, avoiding all problems. I'm afraid that's my nature. I know that I cannot do without faith; but - here's the paradox - that's why I'm haunted by doubt about the truths of faith. I think that I believe only because I have to; that my faith has the character of a kind of agreement with itself: “In order to live, let's agree that from now on, for you and me, this is how it is, and not otherwise.” What would you say to this?

You have over-complicated something that is actually very simple. Faith is really a way to live. Moreover, it is the only way to truly live. Not to exist, not to survive, not to while away life, namely to live. Life is God's gift. Many people waste this gift, trample it underfoot, thoughtlessly play with it or turn it into some kind of constant torment for themselves - but a minority truly lives! Those live for whom life is a gift from God. And if a person chooses life with God, then this is not psychological reception, applied by him to himself, not an agreement with himself, not a subjective choice associated with the characteristics of the personality, no, this is simply the only right way. And there is absolutely no need to be afraid of it.

And as for the fact that faith is an escape from problems - faith actually generates a huge number of problems. For a person who knows God, lying is a problem, acting selfishly is a problem, refusing to help a neighbor is a problem. Things that previously seemed morally neutral acquire a moral coloring. Good and evil clearly diverge at their poles, and a person is deprived of the possibility of a compromise. To say that it is easier to live with faith than without faith can only be said by a person who has no idea about faith. Faith is not an evasion of responsibility, but, on the contrary, a person's full responsibility for his life.

The fact of the matter is that faith is not a compensation for inferiority, not the lot of losers. There are many things in life that can satisfy a person. But about people who do “beautifully” without faith, the Lord says in the Holy Scriptures: Do not have my Spirit to abide in these men forever for they are flesh(Gen. 6, 3). A person can become so carnal, so earthly, that his soul practically dies in him, and the spirit fades away, and he does not even feel the need for what he was created for. But this is also a free choice of a person, and also a certain result to which he can come. The irreligious conscience, about which so much has been said in Soviet times, - this is the same crafty conscience, for the cleansing of which the priest prays in the prayer of the Great Entrance. A truly believing person will never assert: “I live according to my conscience,” because he knows that his conscience is evil. With the help of an irreligious conscience, a person deceives himself. People who did not deceive themselves - the saints - saw themselves as great sinners. They looked at themselves with those eyes with which the Lord looks at us. BUT a common person sees himself better than he is. A person who believes that his conscience is clear is dishonest with himself. The “pure revolutionary conscience” of the Iron Bolsheviks and ardent Komsomol members did not interfere with them; on the contrary, it moved them to a fratricidal war, terror, and the destruction of churches. There are subjective criteria - it is them that a non-religious conscience chooses for itself, and each time anew, depending on the era - but there is an unshakable eternal criterion, this is the Lord.

What is doubt: the pride of the mind, convinced that only he alone can comprehend everything, or simply the soundness of the mind, its normal functioning? What to do with doubt - just pray? Or try to convince the mind in its language, that is, with its own rational arguments?

Doubt is different. There are doubts with which the enemy shakes our mind. Everything that the enemy does against us is imputed not to us, but to him. Whether these doubts and vacillations find any basis for themselves in us is another matter. This is where our responsibility begins. If we strengthen, develop, cultivate the doubts that arise in our hearts and minds, then we ourselves, for one reason or another, are prone to them. For what reason? Note: people who are dishonest and dishonorable are, as a rule, distrustful and suspicious of others. They don't trust anyone because they know they can't be trusted themselves, and they judge others by themselves. So here. A person faithful and devoted to God will not doubt Him: if you can rely on me, a sinner, then even more so on the Lord.

- So, any thinking, thinking, therefore, the development of one's doubts is obviously a sin?

Thinking ability is what is given to a person for creation. For the creation of the soul, the home of the soul, one's own life and the life around oneself. And it happens that the thought process gets out of control and becomes the master of a person. Then it is no longer thought for man, but man for thought. Should a person think? Yes, he is a thinking being, he must think. But mental activity must find support in his heart. If a person's faith is only in his head, he will constantly fluctuate. As soon as it descends into the region of the heart, doubts will go away. What is needed for this? To do this, it needs to be easier. Because God is a very simple being. And man became complex as a result of the fall. But, as one acquires the simplicity that Christianity tells us, a person acquires the ability to believe simply, like children. Why does the Lord say: unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven(Mt. 18, 3)? What is the secret of this childish faith? The child does not know how to distrust. Here he is lost, we approach him, take him by the hand and say: “Let's go, I'll take you to my mother.” And he puts his hand in ours and calmly follows us. And we, adults, are distrustful: even the person who sincerely offers us help or asks about our health, we suspect something. This is our depravity, twisted by sin - on the one hand, and on the other - by the bitter experience of our life. But every person is called to acquire the faith of a child. Stop delving into your doubts, in your reasoning and turn to your direct experience. After all, every believer has it - the experience of God's direct participation in his life. Everyone had such a moment when he could not help but understand: this is the Lord. When doubt comes, you just need to remember this moment - when your hand fell into the hand of God. Did you know then that it was him? Why don't you believe now? How have you blocked your path to God? What did you set up here, what reasoning? You don't need all this. When we put our hand into the hand of God and the Lord leads us along a sometimes difficult, tough path, but we don’t tear our hand out, we don’t run away - faith grows stronger from this.

But what if this very “God helped me” is just some kind of self-hypnosis, self-hypnosis, thanks to which I was able to organize myself internally and get out of some kind of crisis state?

If you refuse to see God's help and give thanks for it, having asked and received it, you find yourself among those nine lepers who, having been cleansed of leprosy, did not consider it necessary to come and thank Christ (see: Lk. 17, 12–19). The spiritual leprosy they suffered was far worse than the physical leprosy. This is unbelief and ingratitude, and faith is given to a grateful heart. From ingratitude and internal betrayal, faith leaves.

Such a strange thing: you can recognize a miracle as a miracle and rely on it only if you already have faith. If there is no faith, a miracle will not convince. A person will give him any explanation he wants or will not give any explanation at all - he will simply forget about him. For many reporters reporting the descent Holy Fire in Jerusalem at Easter, this is only news in the news flow: it does not change them, as, by the way, it does not change humanity as a whole. Visible miracles are far less miracles than those that take place in the hearts of men. The fact that the publican Zacchaeus, an adult, wealthy, most likely, a person truly spoiled by his life and profession, climbed a fig tree to see Christ is a miracle (see: Lk. 19, 1–10). And the fact that the Sun stopped is not a miracle. The one who created this sun can stop it. He who created the sea can make it part. But a person can turn to God only on his own, according to his personal choice. And it really is a miracle. A miracle is when a person prays and suddenly feels that the Lord hears his prayer, that He answers him - not with a voice, not with light, but with this touch to the heart. This is much more wonderful than the parted sea. I, perhaps, will bring someone's condemnation on myself, but I will say all the same that for me personally the descent of the Holy Fire is not as important as those seemingly small miracles that the Lord performed in my own life. And if it suddenly turned out, let's say, that there is no Holy Fire, that it's just a trick, as some say (I myself don't think so, of course) - this would not shake my faith in the least. If a person's faith collapses like a house of cards from the revelation of a miracle, then this is not faith at all. A visible miracle can be taken away from us, but the miracle that is known to me alone, which happened in my heart, no one will ever take away from me. Increased attention to visible miracles, the desire to lean on them in faith is akin to the desire to lean on crutches. This is weakness, although weakness is not shameful, it is natural for us. However, one must learn to walk without crutches.

But once again I will say: in order for these genuine miracles, invisible to the world, to happen to us, we must become as simple as possible, not get confused in our own thoughts. There are things that cannot be analyzed. We can analyze external events and some processes taking place in our souls, but our relationship with God does not need to be dissected and analyzed as if it were the data of a scientific experiment. We need to understand what deprives us of grace, and what helps us to acquire it. Sometime the Lord does not give us grace, because it is premature, it will not be useful to us now; sometime - so that we do not get the impression that it is easy to give. But mostly - anger, condemnation, heavy, gross sins deprive us of grace. And if we try to get rid of them, we will see that there are some other seemingly small things that also deprive us of grace. There is something in ourselves that opposes grace. If we understand this, then we are learning a grace-filled life. And grace and faith are inseparable concepts, because true faith is a gift of the grace of God. When faith is alive in a person, he feels it precisely as life. From what death did the Lord save us? From the one that life without Him really is. The feeling of life with God is what faith is.

There is some connection between doubt and sin. A person who does not want or does not find the strength in himself to part with his sins subconsciously needs that there is no Creator and Judge.

When we pray, we ask: “Lord, help me, I am lost without You,” we believe that He exists, that He hears us and will come to the rescue. If they didn't believe, they wouldn't pray. But here is another situation: a person no longer needs help, and he is going to commit some sin. However, conscience prompts: The one to whom you prayed is here, He has not disappeared anywhere. As you prayed before His face, so you sin - before His face. And the person says: no, this is not so, where is it, this face. In the old days, there were people who used towels to hang icons in their homes before doing something sinful. Likewise, Adam hid from his Creator. between the trees of paradise, as it says in the Book of Genesis ( 3, eight). If a person who has received the gift of faith from God lives by faith, it will be strengthened in him, otherwise it will quietly leave him.

This, perhaps, explains the fright of a sinful person when meeting with a miracle, the desire that the miracle did not happen, that it turned out to be an optical illusion or someone's trick?

If the miracle of God frightens you, it means that you, as the inhabitants of the country of Gadarene, have your own pigs, which are dear to you, and you do not want them to throw themselves into the lake and die there (see: Mk. 5, 11–14; OK. 8, 32–34; Matt. 8, 30–34). Pigs are different, some of them are big, fat, grunt, it's hard not to notice them, and some have quite nice pink pigs - but conscience tells me that they are pigs after all! That is why it is terrible that the Lord will appear right now - and everything that is incompatible with His light in us will be revealed and will be forced out, driven away. Fear and desire to turn away in this case- defensive reaction. However, it is in the power of a person - every time - to say: “Lord, such as I am - I am afraid of You; but I want to learn to love you. Because I understand that without You I will be lost.

- Doubt and lack of faith - how do these concepts correlate? Is it the same or not?

These concepts are very close. Remember, the Lord says to Peter, stretching out His hand to him: unbelieving! why did you doubt?(Mt. 14, 31). Lack of faith is a small faith, a faith that lives in a person, but does not force a person to live in accordance with it. Remember the episode with the healing of the demon-possessed youth? The father of this boy says to the Lord: if you can, have pity on us and help us(Mk. 9, 22). He has faith, it is enough to turn to the Teacher, but not enough to believe in His omnipotence.

There are people who say that they cannot believe in God and in everything that happens in the Church: “There is no faith, that's all. Such (such) I, apparently, by nature - an unbeliever (unbeliever). What would you say to such a person?

Wouldn't say anything. It is useless to say something, to prove something to a person who puts up a shield between himself and God. You need to pray for such a person, so that the Lord enlightens him. And to show him the love that is in Christians is the main evidence of the God of Love attracting human hearts to Himself.

Interviewed by Marina Biryukova

Journal "Orthodoxy and Modernity", No. 22 (38), 2012

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We are talking with Father Tikhon Shevkunov:

—Father Tikhon, where does faith go, where does the need for worship, prayer and joy disappear?

- Once I was talking with Archimandrite Seraphim (Rosenberg). This was shortly before his death. From the German barons, after graduating from the university, he went to the Pskov-Caves Monastery, where he spent sixty years. He said that the biggest problem with modern monasticism is a lack of determination. Probably, this can be said not only about the monks, but also about many of our Christian contemporaries.

Determination, courage and the spiritual nobility associated with them are noticeably impoverished. But if people understand throughout their lives that the most important thing is to go to God, to be faithful to Him despite any obstacles and temptations, then they do not waver in faith so much as to lose it.

The crisis of faith you are talking about is especially vivid in our teenagers. At 8-9 years old, children go to church, sing in the kliros, amaze and touch everyone around, and at 14-16 years old, many, if not most, stop going to church.

- Why is this happening?

“Children were not introduced to God. No, of course they were introduced to the rites, Church Slavonic, with the orders in the temple, the lives of the saints, sacred stories arranged for children. But they did not introduce God himself. The meeting didn't happen. And it turned out that both parents and Sunday School and, sadly, the priests built the house of children's faith "on the sand" (Matt. 7:26), and not on the stone - Christ.

How does it happen that children do not notice God despite all the most sincere attempts of adults to instill faith in them? How is it that a child does not find the strength to discern Christ the Savior in his childhood life, in the Gospel? Answering this question for ourselves, we raise another adult problem, which is reflected in children, as in a mirror. This is when both parents and priests teach one thing, but live differently. This is the most terrible blow to the tender forces of children's faith, an unbearable drama for their sensitive consciousness.

But there are other examples as well. I could have brought another one, but this one I especially remember: in 1990, during my first trip to Germany, I, to my great surprise, received a good lesson from a priest. Catholic. I was struck by his flock - very pure young people of 16-20 years old, sincerely trying to live a Christian life. I asked this priest how he manages to save these teenagers from the aggressive onslaught of temptations and pleasures so familiar to their peers in the West? He then looked at me in complete bewilderment. And he said words that, with their simplicity and clarity, then simply crushed me (I am very sorry that I did not hear this from Orthodox priest): “Yes, they just love Christ more than all these pleasures!”

Are we in a different situation?

- Of course not! We also have a lot of bright examples, thank God. In our Sretensky Seminary I see amazingly pure and sincere guys, although of course, there are all sorts of temptations, life is life.

— But these are teenagers, and what about the people who came to the temple as adults?

- What's the difference? Something similar happens with adults. We also tempt each other (in this case, “these little ones” about whom the Savior speaks - not necessarily children by age) with our lukewarmness, conscious violations of the gospel commandments, and unclean lives. Gradually, people develop the idea that a Christian can generally live as he pleases. And, if this happens, people who have come to faith already in adulthood, gradually lose interest in spiritual life, they get bored with everything. There is no real communion with God, which means there is no life of the spirit. The first three years of faith, Orthodoxy is interesting, new life captures and brings a lot of new impressions, and then everyday life comes.

Maybe it's like family life. Then you need to work, endure, endure, first of all yourself. It's really hard. And ahead of people who have come to faith, say, at the age of 25, there are still fifty years of such labors. This has always been the case, no wonder. Such dryness is an inevitable, as a rule, stage of spiritual life. St. Theophan the Recluse, for example, writes a lot and interestingly about this. This section of the path is a desert that must be overcome. Unfortunately, not all of our brothers and sisters make it this way. And some even forever and with great pleasure dig in these barren sands and it can be very difficult to pick them out from there.

What causes this dryness? A person does everything that is supposed to be done - goes to confession, lists things that, as he knows, are called sins, reads the rule, proceeds to the cup, and the further, the more it seems formalism, the more mechanical actions “read”, “defend "," to say in confession. What to do? How right?

- AT Holy Scripture it is very definitely said how to revive the soul, how to make the soul become young and alive again. "Search for God, and your soul shall live." Seek God no matter what! Stubbornly and persistently. And then the promise of the Lord Jesus Christ is fulfilled: "Seek and you will find."

But if there is no search for God, if the hunger for God, the desire to comprehend Him disappears, this is a cause for very serious anxiety. It is necessary to work with all possible means to restore this desire in your soul. Without this, nothing good will happen. Or, at best, you will have to wait, like a saving rain on a parched earth, shaking the soul of trials, illnesses, grievous wounds and temptations.

But is it possible for a layman?

- To the laity? Yes, it is possible for them! As Father John (Krestyankin) said, in our time, strong Christians are saved in the world, and weak ones in a monastery. When you stand at confession, communicate with parishioners, you see what amazing ascetics there are among the laity, how we, who call ourselves monks, need to learn from them.

I remember once in the mid-80s I was walking with Father John (Krestyankin) through the Pskov-Caves Monastery. Suddenly, an excited young man “pale with burning eyes” ran up to the priest and began to complain loudly: “Father, Moscow is such a disgusting city, the new Babylon! People are godless, terrible! And suddenly Father John covered his mouth with his hand and said sternly: “What are you talking about? In Moscow, 40 events take place every day Divine Liturgies in forty temples! Such amazing ascetics unknown to the world live there, somewhere on the 8th floor of a 12-storey block building! True saints you can't even imagine." I was surprised then, because I thought that all the ascetics lived only in remote monasteries, somewhere on Solovki or in Egypt. And now - and it's true - I myself see amazing ascetics - simple lay people who teach and save me by humble, showing how it is possible in our time to live truly ascetic, like a Christian.

- What does this Christian life?

- In the fulfillment of Christ's commandment to love God and neighbor.

These are ordinary people - women, boys, girls, mature men. I'm not talking about the grandmothers who follow such prayer rules, learning about which, I'll tell you honestly, the monks feel uneasy. Moreover, they have been following these rules regularly for decades. And with full confidence that they are not doing anything special! She reads so many kathismas for her eldest son, so many for her middle son, so many for her youngest daughter. Moreover, he reads one and a half thousand Jesus prayers in order to at least slightly feel his sinfulness. Moreover, prayers by agreement and an akathist - how could it be without him ?! I am telling you the real prayer rule our real parishioner. And such ascetics and ascetics - do not count! Plus, they, just in case, work, go shopping, stroke, wash, raise children and grandchildren. And they are not proud, they are not conceited, they impute themselves to nothing, they are ready to serve their neighbor at any moment. Mere communication with such people is an amazing help to us, impoverished in faith, in hope and in determination.

“But real Christianity is not in the reading of prayers, is it?”

- Of course, not in reading prayers. And in prayer as in living communion with God! You just need to understand that the form of prayer can be very different. The Holy Fathers believe that spiritual life is determined precisely by the quality and purity of prayer. But it goes without saying that if a person believes that he is praying, and at the same time he is angry, does not love people, then one can only feel sorry for him. But you know, maybe I'm lucky, but I haven't met such people for a long time.

— There are many examples when young people serve in the temple, and their families do not see any help from them…

- Well, it happens that a person, as they say, "zakronstadtit." He begins to delve into spiritual life and goes to a bright goal, stepping over his unfortunate loved ones. There is a confessor for this. There is time. There are misfortunes. Finally, there are falls. But I would not present such sad cases as the norm of today. Rather, I think it is such a childhood disease. Many have been ill with chickenpox, but not all are pockmarked.

- But it is precisely such negative cases that are on the lips of many today ...

- Now, in a certain sense, it has become good form in Orthodox circles to say that a person prayed: he reads the rules, canons, kathismas, he is too pious. It's pronounced like a diagnosis. But we take on the role of judges mostly not from an excess of the gift of spiritual reasoning. And more often from our own lack of faith, laziness and selfishness. It is precisely for the purpose of self-defense of our lazy rest that an image is deliberately drawn - a kind of Ferapont from The Brothers Karamazov, remember, Dostoevsky had such a cruel and unwise ascetic.

You know, there is a great danger in the fact that we willingly stick out and inflate such painful moments and with these examples we begin to defend our negligence and lukewarmness imperceptibly for ourselves. And in general, in the church environment, such evil and in their generalization incorrect stereotypes began to spin more and more: if church women, then evil witches, if young people, then they are notorious, if adults, then losers, if they are altar servers, then they left their family for the sake of the temple, if monks, then money-grubbers and wicked.

But it does happen sometimes...

- Who's arguing? It cannot be said that this does not exist at all, that this is not true. But why, with perseverance, worthy of a better application, convince yourself and others that this state of affairs is the peculiarity of our Church.

I somehow traveled through Orthodox forums, and I just felt uneasy, with what cynical malice Orthodox people Those who consider themselves to be very ecclesiastical educated, refer not only to the clergy, which they do not value at all, but also to the most pious laity.

- They say: “Orthodox” and “Orthodoxy of the brain” ...

- These terms, I'm afraid, did not come from anywhere, but from the Orthodox environment. Because only “their own” can prick so subtly. However, be that as it may, but they are picked up in our environment with enthusiasm. But this is a truly disturbing phenomenon in our Christian community. In addition, gradually we ourselves begin to look at ourselves and those around us precisely through the prism of such pejorative ideas.

“To act in accordance with traditional piety has become… uncomme il faut?”

“Remember how Tolstoy in Childhood, Adolescence, Youth” remarkably talked about comme il faut, how comme il faut ruthlessly influenced his life. Now (fortunately only in church circles, because it is simply impossible to call such people churchmen), an Orthodox comme il faut is being developed, and if a person does not fit into it, he is an outcast, a completely despicable person.

Thus, we come to cynicism, and in fact to the origins of the very disease of lukewarmness, which has infected Christians since the time of the Laodicean church. The enemy force, which begins to be whipped up by spiritually chilled Christians from within the Church, is infinitely more dangerous than any external force, than persecution.

We teach our students not to become "Orthodox comme il faut" in any case, because they themselves will not notice how they will lose their faith, how they will become careerists, how all the values ​​in their life will absolutely change.

People of the older generation often say when they get together: “How great it was in the 60s and 70s, what faith it was!”. We say this not only because we begin to grow old and grumble, but because it really is. Then there was an external opposition to the Church from the side of the state, but we were together and valued everyone. "Orthodox" - it would certainly be something from the camp of the enemy. Only Yemelyan Yaroslavsky could say about the Orthodoxy of the brain. An Orthodox person would never use such words, such expressions, would never repeat them. And now it is heard in the church environment, they flaunt it, they are proud!

Why does such an attitude arise?

- What's happening? People went to the Church, but only partly loved it. And gradually, over the years, in the secret of their souls they realized the terrible truth: they treat Orthodoxy with the deepest contempt. With them begins a terrible disease of treacherous cynicism, akin to the act of Ham. And people around get infected with it one way or another. But we are indeed a single organism - the Church, so this disease must be resisted somehow.

When the Orthodox came across this kind of thing in the Soviet years, they understood that it was “from our enemies”, “from adversaries”. Now the lessons of contempt and arrogance are increasingly being taught by church people. And we know the bitter fruits of these lessons.

- Bad forecast...

It remains only to remember the words of St. Ignatius, who said that "Retreat is allowed by God: do not try to stop it with your weak hand." But then he writes: "Get away, protect yourself from him." Don't be a cynic.

- Why? After all, cynical judgments are sometimes accurate ...

- Sobriety and witty taunts, when a fool or an insolent person is put in his place, when they want to protect someone from excessive enthusiasm - this is quite acceptable. But cynicism and Christianity are incompatible. At the heart of cynicism, no matter how it justifies itself, there is only one thing - unbelief.

Once I happened to ask the same question to two ascetics - Father John (Krestyankin) and Father Nikolai Guryanov: “What is the main disease of today's church life? Father John answered immediately - "Unbelief!" "How so? - I was amazed. What about the priests? And he again answered: “And the priests have unbelief!” And then I came to Father Nikolai Guryanov - and he told me completely regardless of Fr. John said the same thing - unbelief.

- And disbelief becomes cynicism?

People stop noticing that they have lost their faith. The cynics have entered the Church, they live in it, they are used to it, and they do not really want to leave it, because everything is already familiar. And how will they look at it from the outside? Very often cynicism is a disease of professional Orthodoxy.

“But sometimes cynicism is a defensive reaction of a very vulnerable, insecure person who has been offended or hurt…

- How, for example, is the exhibition of "forbidden art" different from Perov's painting "Tea Drinking in Mytishchi"? In forbidden art there is disgusting cynicism, while in Perov it is denunciation. Pain and denunciation for which we should only be grateful.

And the ascetics could say very harshly, for example, the Monk Schieromonk Lev of Optinsky. Yes, and today we have a wonderful archpriest in Moscow who can joke so sharply that it will not seem like a little. But it would never occur to anyone to say that he is a cynic, because there is no malice in his jokes.

- Reading the memoirs of M. Nesterov, I always caught myself thinking that he would certainly be ridiculed today. For example: “Mother was at Iverskaya. They stole a bag with money, but they kissed it” - everyone will immediately say, here, Orthodox ...

- Twenty years ago, we would have said about such a person: “Lord, what faith, how good!” And today prosperity is relative Orthodox faith proved to be a great test for Christians. Remember, in the Apocalypse: “For you say: “I am rich, I have become rich and have no need”; but you do not know that you are miserable, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked” (Rev. 3:17). We are poor in faith, and therefore many people, looking at us, get tired of being Orthodox. They still go by inertia, by first love, they still remember how much they received in the Church and hope to receive grace in the future.

— How to properly orient your spiritual life?

The most joyful thing in the spiritual life is discovering new things. Remember with what joy you woke up on Sunday morning for the Liturgy, how you read the holy fathers avidly and discovered new things for yourself all the time. If the Gospel does not reveal anything to us, it only means that we have closed ourselves to the discovery of the new. Remember the words of Christ to the Ephesian church: "Remember your first love."

Hello! My name is Sasha. I'm tired of living in this colosseum.
About myself:
Since childhood, I had an unpleasant case, after which there were problems with the muscles on one side of the face. Some relatives considered me a freak, however, they apologized only recently. FROM kindergarten I ran away because someone would do harm, but everyone pointed at me and I was punished for nothing. After the escape, I was no longer taken to the kindergarten. There were no friends at school, I think I scared them off by my appearance. I sat at home with books, closed my studies, because there was nothing else. I just developed my inner world. From high school, friends began to appear, but they betrayed everything. More often they simply used kindness, but listened to slander. One left and all the others left with him. I have no friends. No matter how much I tried to get acquainted, nothing good comes out: either I scare away those with whom I wanted to be closer in spirit, or they began to use me (dig a garden for them, do housework for them, just like I’m obliged and with the same intonation), I am neglected. I did not see true friendship, they need me for some thing, but as soon as this thing appeared in them, they simply left me. It happened that one person would leave, and the rest would leave after him, they say, since he does not communicate, then we will not.
In personal life, too, nothing good. In high school I liked one, she showed interest and I confessed to her. It turned out that she was just "joking" and there was nothing and never will be. I didn't get too upset then. Later I met a girl who doubted my love, that with such a look I simply accepted the first one who agreed, although I proved to her that this was not so. She quit. Then there was another one. I think I was just exotic to her. Her parents were against it, her friends too, and in the end, we also broke up.
Then I met another one, she was pleased with me, and said that I was pleased, but I don’t love you and don’t want to. It is difficult to call "parted", because they did not even meet ... And so, I met a girl who hooked me to the depths. I am ready to devote everything to her, I do it, but she loves another. This other sometimes behaves strangely, frivolously, and she suffers from this, and it is not easy for me from this. It hurts me to see her suffering, it hurts me that they are not going well, because she loves him and is faithful to him, and I am sad that she cannot be with me. I have been trying to forget her for more than a year, but every day the feelings are getting stronger, in fact, like pain, it would seem that this is the limit, but the soul has no limit ... I cannot live without it. I am drawn to her like opposite sides of a magnet. I give warmth to everyone and do not ask for anything in return, I want to bring joy to everyone, but something in me ends, there is no return of some kind, there is no way to cheer me up, someone just takes it for granted (I just have to) , and someone is simply silent, as if into the void and only occasionally you can hear "thank you". I really want to receive support from her, warmth, which I miss so much, I want a family. She became everything to me.
It hasn't worked out well with my parents since high school. Schizophrenia and alcoholism. I have not seen holidays since childhood. I tried to somehow calm down, influence my parents, but all this is useless, I'm tired, I want my warm family, which does not add up. And I see the last girl as the last hope, I am filled only with her, but I know that nothing will come of it, she will endure everything, but will not be with me, will not give warmth. Dead hopes, dead dreams. I do not know what to do.
I asked God for happiness, but there is still no happiness, there is no one and nothing. I am like an ugly animal that no one will shelter, but who knows how to love. I lost hope, lost faith, faith in God, faith in everything, lost everything. My world is gray without her. I want to leave this world. Words such as "weakling" and so on do not catch, let me be like that, I just have nothing to fight for, and I don't need life, I don't need it without the colors that it can bring. No friends, no love, no support, no nothing... What should I do? How can you live with such a hell inside when you realize that no one needs you in this world and no one cares, that someone is ready to talk on the Internet because they don’t see the real thing, but they don’t go into relationships anymore ... When the only one, who has become light and salvation will never be with me... I don't know what to do and would like help.
Support the site:

Sasha, age: 29 / 11.01.2016

Responses:

Sasha, thank you for your letter. Deep and soulful.... thank you for being you! Ready to give warmth and help just like that, without demanding anything in return. Believe me, you will have everything, and a friendly loving family and peaceful happiness. Everything happens on time for those who know how to wait. But you don’t have to lose faith ... with suicide, hell will not end, but will continue to infinity ... this is really scary. You know, appearance is not really important for true love, it's not yet time to meet your soul mate. It seems to me that the Lord gives you a chance to reveal all the precious potential of your soul, to learn to love without pretensions... if you read the Gospel, remember that the Lord was crucified on the cross for all the goodness and love that he gave to people... spiritual torment- lot of bright, spiritual people. And the reward for this is great - real feelings, a true friend and real love, one and for life, because the present is a piece copy. I beg you, wait for yours and help the Lord!!!"

Tatiana, age: 30 / 11.01.2016

Sasha! How wonderful that there are people like you in the world! You write that you tried to influence your parents, this is not an easy mission. You are not indifferent to others. Relatives, strangers ... Sasha, you do not just live in the world. You are entitled to happiness. Wait for it. You have the treasure of God - you know how to love. Asks God to teach you humility and wisdom. Yes, it sounds like a read, but never doubt that God knows about you. Patience to you. And the Lord keeps you! I wish you great happiness!

Clara, age: 34 / 11.01.2016

Hello Sasha! So this girl is not your other half, well, we can’t force another person to fall in love! You won't be forced to be nice! Slowly forget it, best of all block all thoughts about it, do not wind yourself up with hopes, do not feel sorry for yourself! In general, I think that it is wonderful when a person is able to LOVE! After all, many are not given to experience this feeling! Get distracted by your favorite things, do not be discouraged!

Irina, age: 01/28/11/2016

Thank you for support! Even if these words do not help, the attention itself is already valuable to me.

Sasha, age: 02/29/2016

Something can be done right now.

“I don’t even know, it seems to me that I don’t believe anymore ... And I’ll never know what to do with it ...” I hear these words every day from all over the world, from representatives of any Christian denominations, from every rung of the social ladder .

All of them were once very pious, but now, according to different reasons, the soil of faith is slipping from under their feet - and they are in a panic.

Their fear is understandable. It's really quite scary. It's one thing to question the foundations of the Church, or to point out gaps in human-made religious systems, or even to criticize the Bible and the way it is interpreted. You can live with all this. We can go through these crises and still continue to firmly believe that God exists and that He is good. There are days when it's the only thing we believe in, but usually that's enough.

Loss of faith is more than weakness of will.

But what to do if, despite insomnia, intense prayers, endless questions and stress of willpower, you realize that you no longer believe in anything? What if the very reality of God (or the fact that God is good) becomes a luxury that you cannot afford? How to survive in the midst of a spiritual disaster?

Do not give up. God is strong enough to deal with your doubts.

More often than not, it's not about becoming even more hard-nosed or "religious." In most cases, people begin to doubt, despite constant Bible reading, prayer, regular church attendance, participation in church service, and a desire to believe with all their hearts. They never shied away from all these right things for a moment. They are in fact God-fearing and active Christians, only all these actions have ceased to give the clarity, confidence and comfort that they used to give.

Almost everyone who comes to me in a state of this spiritual emptiness and dryness says they feel guilty. They lament, realizing that no one can help them regain what they have lost, and scold themselves for not being able to force themselves to believe as before, when it was easy and simple.

If you are in the midst of such a spiritual storm right now, I will not tell you that there is a quick and easy way to get your faith back. I can’t even say that you will ever return it, at least in its original form. Perhaps something completely different from what you experienced before is waiting for you.

Return

And still something needs to be done. Question - what?

Maybe you need to pray more or start studying the Bible in a group or go to church more often. Or maybe not. After all, God is not only to be found in "spiritual things."

Maybe today you just need to look around, peer at familiar shapes, listen, touch, breathe in and taste. Perhaps the best thing you can do is simply revisit the things and activities you know so well and accept them again with gratitude.

When you accept these beautiful, pure, observable gifts and appreciate them, you cannot but recognize the Giver. It may be all the faith you can have right now, but that's okay. Just to live and give thanks for life is already a spiritual quest; this is a holy attitude.

Fewer turns - faster to the intended goal

You will see how the feeling of gratitude will lead you on a direct path to the lost sense of faith. It will cleanse the path to God from all sadness, disappointment, doubt, and even religiosity.